The Fall of Kass: Chapters 1-5

two

Laney

He held me. I don't know why, but when I needed him most, he was there. He held me like he had no other choice but to do so. Not in a bad way, just in a way that made me realize that under all of the anger, my Kass still lives. It may be deep, but it's there. I felt it in our long embrace. It may have been nothing more than a knee-jerk reaction, to hold a crying girl, but I like to think it was because I was the crying girl.

We've been walking for hours and my legs are starting to ache. I'm hot and sweaty and thirsty.

"Why don't we stop for a break?" Kass yells to me breathlessly. I look back at him in alarm and he's leaning over, breathing heavily. I don't know anything about what happens when an angel is stripped of his wings but I wouldn't think walking would tire him out quite like this. His body still looks like something belonging to a god—carefully crafted into sculpted muscles. Muscles that shouldn't be bound over in pain due to a few hours' walk.

"Okay."

He kind of falls to the side, still clutching his ribcage. I walk over to him and hand him my water, since I'd noticed he'd finished his off a while ago.

"Thanks," he says, taking the bottle from me. We still have one more left in the pack but at the rate he's going, I don't think it will last.

"What's going on, Kass?"

He grunts. That's it, no words.

"You shouldn't be this tired."

He shrugs this time but it looks like it costs him.

"Is this about your wings?"

"Jesus." He says it like a curse.

"Then what, Kass?!" I yell. "Talk to me!"

"I can't!"

"Why the hell not?"

"I just..." He pauses and shakes his head, his brows furrowing. "I just can't." He pulls himself up unsteadily and winces in pain before he begins walking again. I don't even know why we stick together if it doesn't even seem like we care to be around each other. I miss the old Kass. I miss the man I fell back in love with. We were just beginning to get back to what we'd lost and everything crumbled in less than a day. I always thought when I found my forever that things would just fall into place. Everything would be perfect. I guess nothing lasts forever and maybe I should just cherish the time I did have because it's like he's left me again and I don't know if I have it in me anymore to fight to get him back.

This time, as we walk, I follow behind. I'm tired and cranky and I just want things to go back to the way they were. We worked so hard and it took us so long to get there, I just can't deal with the fact it's gone.

Kass is visibly struggling with each step he takes. It pains me to see him this way but he won't tell me what's wrong or why he can barely walk. I'm at a loss.

We walk maybe another twenty minutes when Kass stops cold. His body snaps to attention as if he's being called upon. I feel it then—the spike in electricity. I can always feel the hum of it but never as prominent as when lightning is about to strike. It only strikes on Wednesday. Lightning never comes with the rain anymore. We can't see the lightning this time, which tells me there aren't many humans, if any, nearby. We can see a purple glow just over the horizon but that's the extent of it.

I don't have to see it to feel it, though. I've never felt so energized and powerful as when that lightning strikes. It's euphoric, but when I look back to Kass, he is crumpled in a ball on the side of the road.

I rush over to him and notice he is shaking and sweat pours off of him in sheets. His eyes are squeezed shut and he makes murmurs on short gasps. I touch him and he recoils so viciously from my touch that his whole body moves away from me. After that, I just kind of hover over him, not touching but still close enough I know he can tell I'm still there. His jaw, which has been firmly clenched, pops and slowly relaxes just a little as the purple haze disappears from the horizon. As his body begins to deflate, he rolls over on his back. His face is still scrunched up in immense pain but it seems to be subsiding, if only slightly

I hear yelling in the distance and even though he flinches at my touch, I drag Kass into the cover of the trees. He still seems to weigh nothing, just as he did the night his wings were stripped, and I wonder if he will always feel like this.

I get him past the tree line and into the forest just as he begins to shake again. There's a small blanket wadded up in our pack and I take it out and gently lay it over him. I hope it's not as painful as my touch seems to be, but I have no idea.

I watch him for hours but it only seems like minutes. Now I'm beginning to understand why I hardly see him on Wednesdays. Wednesdays are the day I feel best. The rest of the week I feel drained—like I've run out of energy, enough to make me tired and feel like I'm dragging but not so much that I can't function. Wednesdays to Kass mean minimal to no functionality. I see that now. I also see this 'reaping of the souls' thing has affected him much more strongly than it has me and in an entirely different way.

Since the first reaping, I haven't really used my powers, haven't really needed them. I pretty much forgot I had them as I've been too caught up in Kass and our sudden inability to communicate. I hold my hands over him and imagine healing his pain—taking it away completely. His body stops moving and I think maybe it's worked, but then he seizes. His body jerks every which way and I stop caring about the no touching rule. I hug him to me, holding him on his side. His mouth foams and a little blood trickles out. I begin to cry hysterically, so much so that I don't realize his body has gone completely still. I jerk up and look deep into his eyes that have flashed open. The crystal blue seems to stare deep into my soul. I break contact from his eyes to look him over. He seems fine. His heart that was beating rapidly before is beating regularly now. The blood and foam that fell from his mouth and trailed down his neck is gone, leaving not even a single trace of its presence. I look back up to his eyes and slowly see the pain begin to seep back in.

Kass tucks a hair behind my ear and gives me a shy smile before he grimaces and squeezes his eyes shut.

Kass

She tried to heal me. I felt the warmth of her electrically charged hands before I began to shake. I'd never had a seizure before and I have no idea what brought this one on. None of this makes sense. I was somewhat aware of what was happening but not enough to where I could really do or say anything. Laney panicked. I could see it in her eyes when my body stopped quaking. Her body was flung over mine and for a brief moment after it all stopped, there were no voices and no pain. I thought maybe that was the end. That I was surely dying and my body had just given up on feeling. But then slowly, it all began to creep back in. It isn't as bad as before but it sure isn't a cakewalk. I slept a little after that. Probably more than I have since this all started.

Now, I'm lying here in the dark, Laney snuggled up to my side. She's sleeping peacefully and I take this moment to really admire her. The nights aren't so bad; the pain is still there but the voices aren't as loud, making it easier to pay attention to what's most important to me. As I look at her beautiful, relaxed features, I know I need to get out of this funk I'm in. It's neither of our faults but it's so damn hard to pull out when I'm sunk so deep—smothered daily by the shit in my head I can't control. The urges aren't my own but the pain definitely is. I think about telling her, trying to get the words out before it becomes a jumbled mess, but then I chicken out. I always chicken out. She can't help me anyway. No one can. This burden, whatever it is, is mine to bear. It would only hurt her more to know. That's what I've convinced myself.