Savages

27: Revolutions

When Judit woke up, the first things she felt were desperate loneliness, and the burning urge to pee.

She relieved the second, shivering as the cold air hit her skin. Then she banked up the fire and pulled the bench away from the door and back to its usual position. She sat down and stared at the blue-hued flames blankly, flexing her cold toes in her shoes.

She wanted Brock. She wished he were here.

Why had he knocked on her door last night? Why had she ignored it? She didn't know. But that was a good sign, right? He came back to me.

She thought of what he'd said last night—I love you—and hugged herself. She loved him too, more than anything.

And everything had seemed awful then, in the shock of discovery, with the screaming of that freak storm, but if she had to face the wrath of Merle and Lintie, everyone hating her, then it would be better if she at least got to be with him.

Her heart ached. She wanted to see him, now, but was scared to go to his blackhouse in case Lintie was there. Why had she sent him away?

Everything had seemed so close, so oppressive last night, like she was clawing for air. But now that familiar need was back, and she just wanted him again. She wondered what time it was, if there was a way she could see him without seeing anyone else. There wasn't.

The thought of running into Merle or Lintie turned her stomach.

I've gotta go get some food and water, Judit thought, staring at the two potatoes that made up the only sustenance in the blackhouse. Then I can just stay in here all day.

That's it. She'd go out, get food and water, and put the bench in front of the door again. Let Brock in if he knocked. No-one else. Loneliness, as daggy as it was, was better than squirming like a maggot under their disapproving glares.

Judit picked up her plastic water bottle and tiptoed into the byre, peeling open the door. She peeked out of the crack into a sliver of daylight, squinting for sound or movement.

Nothing.

She opened the door wider and stuck her head out cautiously. The day was still and cold, the sky a flat grey. It was early, the grass green where the light hit it, but still encrusted with white frost along the lines of the shadows.

Judit stepped out cautiously.

Nothing. No-one was about.

Thank skit. They must all still be in bed.

Judit pulled her coat around herself and headed quickly for the stream, swinging her bottle. Water, then food, then safety. Back to the blackhouse.

She unscrewed the cap and held the opening under the bubbling water, not bothering to fill it all the way. That'll do. Food and back to safety.

She cut along the back of the blackhouses, where she wouldn't be seen if anyone came out, and headed for the store. She'd get more potatoes, and some cabbage. Maybe some of the dried lavy meat if there was enough. The taste licit made her retch after all this time, but–

Judit pulled up short as she got to the entrance to food store, her limbs frigid.

Her water bottle fell to the floor.

They were there.

They were all there. Everyone.

A little group was assembled by the polytunnel, in the muddy field where their crops grew.