Waiting on Justin

Chapter 11

"What are we supposed to do then?"

"Do what they want. You have to turn yourself in. We can write—you remember you always wanted me to write you love letters? Guess you got your wish." He was trying to lighten up the mood. It didn't work. "And wait. I know you don't believe it, but you'll be old enough in no time; then we can be together and no one can stop us."

I stared at him. Later wasn't enough. I wanted him now.

"Look. Think about it this way: I'm going to enlist, right?"

"Yeah?"

"I was going to wait until you were old enough but I can do it now, and by the time my four years are done, you'll be old enough, we'll get married and no one will separate us ever again."

It was a lie. All Justin wanted was to convince me to turn myself in so he could stay out of trouble and I could get a good home, like I was a stray puppy or something.

"I won't go."

"You're killin' me! You think I want you to? Think about it. Think long and hard about it, what do I have without you? Nothing! You're my life, Haylee. Everything I've ever done is for you! But we're screwed. If you stay I go to jail and everything we've worked for is gone. We have to do this. There's no choice. Baby, believe me if there was any other way I'd do it. But there's not. Four years. That's all."

"We can leave. We can go where no one knows us."

"No, we can't run from this."

"Sure we can; why couldn't we?"

"Because, Haylee—" I could tell he didn't want to say it—"you're just a kid. You're too young."

"I'm not! We can do this."

"How? I can't pretend to be your dad and put you into school at the next place we go, even if we could find somewhere else to go. I got a job here, and only because Mr. Reyes hooked me up. If I leave, I ain't got nothing, especially if they put a warrant out for my arrest because I kidnapped you. We'd always be looking over our shoulders and if we got caught it would be ten times worse."

"But you didn't do anything to me!"

"It... doesn't... matter! Why can't you get it? It doesn't matter what we say or do. They got us nailed. We can't outrun them."

"Yeah we can. Kids go missing all the time, and they never find them."

"They get killed, that's why. I'm not going to live on the streets just so we can be together."

"You don't want to be with me?"

"I didn't say that, Haylee. Don't put words into my mouth I didn't say."

"Then what? You're going to give up on us? You're going to let go?" He was abandoning me; I felt it.

"No, never! There's no me without you; you're my heart and soul. It's just like before; it's just like with the kiss. You remember when you wanted it?"

"Yeah, but it's not the same. We were together."

"We'll still be together." He took my hand and put it against his chest so I could feel his heart. I started to cry but no sound came out. "Mr. Reyes said I could write you; I'll write you every day."

"It's not the same."

"It's exactly the same. All you have to do is wait for me, baby. Wait, and I'll be there for you."

"No. No! I don't want to leave."

Then he pulled me to him and held me while I cried. He tried to cover me from all the sadness with his strong arms, but they didn't have the power to make the mess that was my life disappear.