I don't know if you have ever felt this before. I know I have certainly not. However, I don't know how it is possible to be both happy and sad at the same time, but I have managed to do it. I am very quirky. Like I say soory and anywho and my spirit animal is a unicorn because it's magical and gives me life. And because of that, people now have been imitating me saying soory and anywho. At first, it was just my friends so it was okay. However, now people in school that I have never even talked to or know have come up to me and started imitating me. It was fine when my friends did it. But now since it's the entire school it's gone too far. This has gone so far in fact that the one extroverted and fun loving person is now gone and replaced with a quiet person who is afraid to speak to anyone. Essentially, I have lost all of my self confidence. I'm scared to even say hi to a junior or senior (I'm a freshmen) even though they are just people. I truly want to be friends with this one junior however I can't because I feel like i will be judged for my quirkiness. But like I'm just me, so it's not fair that I would be made fun of for it. I feel like I don't have anyone I can trust anymore. I used to have this one big friend group in the beginning of the year but I separated myself from them because I lost all of my confidence and was afraid to even speak to them. And right now, I'm just afraid to go up to people and start conversations. I used to do that no problem. I used to be able to make friends wherever i went. But right now, I can't do that because I am afraid of getting judged. But I'm trying to get better. I just need to gain my confidence. But how? I need to get back to my normal self soon because right now, I don't have anyone to talk to. I don't know how to explain this but the worst kind of loneliness is when you are in a room full of people but you still feel alone. That's me everyday at school. And it's all because of my confidence. And it also really bothers me that I don't have hips and everyone else in my grade does. And why in the name am I so short??? Ugggggggg i swear. Oh and bye I'm not depressed. Just clarifying that. And also one of the twins left Americas Next Top Model and I'm so mad because she was my favorite and all the other girls are so rude!
Wow, I get sidetracked a lot! Oh well! Well I need to go to bed bc I have school tomorrow and a stupid French poem recitation. O my gosh help me.
