Broken Horse

Chapter 3 - Jacey

"I am not a virgin." Heat blistered my cheeks as I turned my back to him and curled my fingers around the hook that was on the rope holding that massive amount of black horse in the trailer. The moment I unclipped it, that animal was going to shoot out of that trailer and I would have to hang on for a while until I was able to get him to stop.

"You can't lie to me, Jay!" His taunting laugh filled the parking lot as the clopping of the hooves circled around the trailer to the left side where the tack door was. "You are a prude and don't deny it. You suck at lying and you suck at anything having to do with men. Now, with a horse, I would say you are one of the best trainers I've seen... besides myself of course. If you can take what you do with horses and do that with a man, you would pop that cherry and maybe have a real life for once."

The stinging in my eyes blurred my vision as I looked at the black eyes that were watching me, waiting for me to unleash the fury that would come as soon as he was free from the trailer.

"All I am saying is that if you were more like your sister, maybe you wouldn't be such a stuck up prude." He called through the window as the truck door slammed shut.

"Talking about Jay?" Tobey's mellow voice shot through the air intensifying the stinging in my eyes. Tobey was even in on the whole joke about how I was. Tobey; the kinder, softer one of the workers who didn't work so much with the horses on training. But he was damn good at knowing what needed to be done with the hay fields and the food for the animals. Having him there was a blessing when we needed to have someone take care of the stuff besides the training. And he was the one who wasn't a womanizer like John.

"How could you guess?" John's smirk reached through the trailer and slapped me hard. Maybe I was wrong with being the way I was. Jacki sure didn't have an issue with sleeping around. If I wanted anything more in my life than just playing with horses, I would have to let myself go and push my fear down into hiding.

"Come on. Lay off her. She's just scared. Besides, the other one has enough experience to cover Jay's half anyway." Tobey's chubby face peaked around the corner looking in at me. "Hey, I wouldn't mind if you wanted to snag a little time together."

The sinking of my heart nauseated me. Was that how they really saw me? Was I really that much of a prude, a bore, a child? If I was more like my Jacki, I wouldn't have a problem dating someone for a few weeks and jumping in bed with them. She did and nothing ever happened to her. Me, I didn't want to. There were too many diseases out there, too many people who took advantage of women, and guys who were just players. I never would be able to tell when a guy was just playing me and what if I ended up getting some sexually transmitted disease because he didn't want to be honest with me?

I watched what Jacki went through as she dated throughout high school. Some guys played her and she played some guys. There were times she had tears and times she laughed about what she did. And I saw the few times she could barely function because a guy broke her heart. Why would I want to go through all that? Why would I want to trust a guy who would do nothing but hurt me?

"Why try? You know she will never jump in bed with you... or anyone for that matter." John's taunting laugh hit me knocking me back into the black gelding.

If that was how they saw me, if they were just laughing at me, I would show them. I would be more like Jacki if that was what guys wanted, if that would make me what guys want. Being who I was wasn't getting me anywhere in my life. But I enjoyed playing with my horses. I enjoyed working with horses, finding out who they were, how they were, and what they wanted me to teach them. Some were harder than others to figure out, but eventually they told me. That was what training was all about. Listening to what they had to say. They were just easier to tend to than people. And horses didn't lie.