Fixing You

Win and Start

Chapter 23

Start and Win

"Wala kang trabaho?" Kuya Ashton asked out of the sudden, tiningnan ko siya na parang hindi ko naintindihan iyong sinabi niya. Well, I'm too space out to pay attention to my surroundings.

Binitawan ko ang aking phone na kanina ko pa tinititigan.

"What?" I asked absentmindedly.

"Wala kang trabaho? Any paperworks?" Napapikit ako at mabigat na bumuntong hininga.

"Marami..." I said with my fading voice.

"Oh, bakit ka nandito sa bahay ko?" tanong ng kapatid ko na para bang hindi ako welcome rito at gusto na niya akong paalasin.

I creased my forehead at him. Masama bang bumisita dito? Atsaka si Venice naman ang binisita ko rito eh, hindi siya!

"Don't you want me here, Kuya?" I asked with my pained voice, agad naman niya ako binatukan.

"Bakit ba ang drama drama mo?"

Hindi ko siya sinagot at tinuon nalang ang mata ko sa TV. Kinapa ko ang aking phone, my fingers clenched on the sides of this electronic device. Pumunta ako rito para madistract pero nagkamali ako, my mind keeps floating somewhere else.

Para itong lobo na kahit pilit mong panatilihin sa isang lugar pero pilit pa rin nitong lumalayo, palayo ng palayo hanggang sa kawalan. I just need to keep my attention to it and hold on to its dear string just like how I'm holding on to my sanity right now. Pilit kong humahawak sa pisi para hindi ko maiwala ang sarili ko ng tuluyan. I am so distracted right now. I was keeping my shit for days already!

"May problema ka ba, Ezekiel?" tanong ng kapatid ko at agad akong umiling-iling.

"Huh? Wala wala..." wala sa sarili kong sagot sa kanyang tanong. He always asks this question na para bang atomatiko na ang aking labi sa aking sagot ko rito.

I looked away when I met his scrutinizing eyes. Damn it, mali ata na dito ako pumunta! I am on the brink of deciding whether or not leave this place pero naisip ko ang dahilan ko kay Kuya Ashton sa pagbisita ko rito ay si Venice.

Unfortunately, she's asleep right now. Kaya nasa sala kami ngayon hinihintay ang paggising niya. Ate Maddie is out with her friends for some lunch dates, sabi ni Kuya Ash, pero mag aalas tres y media na at wala pa 'to. Kuya Ashton also said she might go to her flower boutiques to check it. Habang si Kuya naman ay walang trabaho ngayong araw. It's Saturday kaya wala rin akong trabaho.

Staying at my condo might bring me to insanity so I decided to go here and used Venice as an alibi. Halos purihin ko na ang sarili ko kanina sa pagiisip ng magandang palusot pero halos batukan ko ang sarili ko ngayon para sa pagiisip ng palusot na iyon. I can't get away this easy!

"Are you going insane or are you just smoking some pot?" diretsuhang tanong niya sa akin at agad ko siyang tinaasan ng middle finger ko. He just shot me a look and I looked away. Am I that obvious?

"What do you think of me, Kuya?" I asked in disbelief.

"Wala nang magawa sa buhay para magganon?" tanong ko pa rito. I saw the smirk formed on the side of his lips.

"Eh bakit parang wala ka sa sarili mo ngayon? What's the real reason why you went here, huh? Tell me..." his tone sounds like he's pursuing me to tell him something like a secret. My lips twitched as a reaction.

"I don't have anything to tell," agap ko agad at tiningnan niya lang ako.

"Why are you here, then?" I pursed my lips and looked away from his gaze.