Cheat On Me

'Abusive Love'|1|

RE-WRITING THIS BOOK; I wrote it when I was 13, so it turned out sucky & confusing, so Im rewriting it. Maybe it'll be okay this time. Thanks for reading!

When you fall in love, 

You become a liar..

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My head was throbbing. I couldn't move my body, not even an inch. I knew that he had done it again, he had had a 'rage episode'. This always happens after the rages he gets in, I always end up hurt in more than one way. But as a good wife I get up from the ground once again, and start to pick up his mess. I love him, still. 

'On second thought, let me get up when I can see clearly  I try my hardest to focus on something from my bedroom. Anything, just to get to clear my  state of blurriness. Throbbing head, numb body, and a blurry vision, what has he done to me? 

"Sweet heart, get up, come on. You need to start cleaning the house." He grabs my arms and makes me stand up. My mind is so foggy and I can barely stand on my two feet, after all this he wants me to clean. Great. 

"No, no. I can't Kenneth," I mange to spit the words out, I can't do this right now. I can't be pleasing him right now. But he still doesn't get it, he smiles down at me. I look into his eyes and beg him to leave me alone. Kenneth doesn't get the message though. He starts kissing me, and leaning me down on the bed, I'm weak, so I let him. All I want right now is to be back on the bed, laying down, with my eyes close. So if this is the way to get that, then I should let him have his way with me. I really don't care right now, just want to close my eyes...

"Look at me, Esther, look," he kisses down my neck, wanting me to see what he is doing to me, but I can feel everything so much better with my eyes close! I don't want to see, I want to fall into the darkness again, but he won't let me... I shake my head, and let out a quite moan, it  escapes my dry lips. 

Moving my body like a rag doll he places me in the position he wants me in. I think he drugged me, yes, that would answer the question about why I can't move my body or why if feels numb. He drugged me. His own wife. But why? What did I do to make him do that? 

Last night I remember that we started fighting, yes, we were fighting about this guy at the office. Tanner Roberts, he was nice enough to show me to my husband's office room. But Kenneth is a very jealous man, he didn't like it at all how Tanner looked at me. He couldn't beat the shit out of Tanner at his job, so he started a fight with me. Again. 

'Why are you wearing that dress? It's too short, were you wanting him to look up your dress? He can see your fucking ass in that, come here Esther!' He had started to yell at me right there in his office, but thank goodness the walls didn't let out even a whisper. 

I started to shake as I walked to him. I swear sometimes my loving husband can scare the shit out of me. But I didn't let him see that, I walked with my head held up, with some  good body language. To show him, I was fine, not at all scared. I tried to show him how strong I was, while in the inside I was crumbling down to the ground. 

'I did not want him to look at me that way, Kenneth. I was dressing this way for you only. I wanted to surprise you here, I thought maybe we could do it here, I know you wanted to the other times,' I looked at him through my long eye lashes. I really was a good actress. I smiled at myself because I had done good. I had lied right in front of his face and he didn't notice, he hadn't caught me! This was great news, because god knows, how mad he gets at me because I lie to him. I'm sure if he knew right now, he would punish me right now, right here.