Fireflies In Autumn (Frikey)

Chapter 5

I was wide awake before my alarm clock even went off the next morning. I was up tossing and turning all night the night before, thinking about Frank and wanting to see him again. I couldn't wait now to get to school, to get on the bus, where he might be there, ready to give me more beautiful torment. I smiled when I heard the alarm clock go off. Even though my eyes were closed, I was conscious and thinking heavily. So when it went off, I smacked it instantly and got out of bed in a flash, grabbing my glasses off the nightstand first.

I stripped in the room, getting a towel, and went into the bathroom to shower. Most mornings I never bothered with it, figuring I'd just get a shower after PE, but this morning I wanted to look my handsomest for Frank.

After I got out of the shower and got dressed, I probably spent about 10 minutes alone in front of the mirror, trying to get my stupid hair to lay right. Because of that I was on the verge of missing the bus and would have to go to school without my Frosted Flakes. But that didn't matter. My hair looked pretty damn good, if I do say so myself, so it was worth it.

I had knots in my stomach as I waited for the bus to pull up. I kept my eyes down the end of the street, fidgeting and pacing. My heart nearly exploded when I saw it coming, imagining Frank in there now, sitting with his stupid toadies, thinking of more crap to give me when he sees me, and I seriously couldn't wait, either. The knots that I had before were nothing compared to the disaster that stirred in my belly when the door opened. I entered the bus with my eyes lowered, almost too scared to see him. I kept thinking any second, he was going to say, "Hey, Milky Way," or "hey, vagina boy," or any of those random pet names he's come up with. But as I went, I didn't hear anything. I didn't let it concern me, figuring he was waiting for me to sit down where he'd begin throwing things at me, or smacking me in the back of the head like always.

I found an empty seat on the bus, which I took, and worked up the courage to look around, feeling increasing disappointment as I saw Frank wasn't on board. I looked at every seat, all the way to the back, and he wasn't on there at all.

I dropped my head, sitting silently, and feeling my elation dissolve rapidly. I reasoned that Frank was probably just late. He's not on the bus every day, and I'd still see him in class later. I can't count the times he's gotten detention from being late. Even the times he wasn't in Gym he'd still be there in History. So I didn't let the idea of Frank not being on the bus get me down just yet. He was going to be there. I just knew it.

When the bus pulled up at the school entrance, around the place where the busses unload, I got out, looking around in the hopes of maybe spotting Frank pulling up in a car. I kept walking towards the school building as I did, not seeing anything at all remotely resembling Frank. I dropped my eyes and kept going.

I never thought that I'd have a morning where the first thing I wanted to do was find Frank. I never thought I'd lie awake in bed excited about another day of school. I never thought I'd be so disappointed at the acknowledgement that Frank wasn't around at all. But it was true. All of it. My heart broke as I made it to PE and saw he wasn't there either. That meant either lunch or the end of the school day before I saw him again. And I spent all that time on my hair for nothing. Even if Frank showed up around Lunch or the last class we had together, PE will turn my hair to shit, and I'd have to get a shower again, and it won't look nearly as good a second time as it did this first time.

I had a weird fluttery feeling in my stomach when I walked into the gymnasium, and my mind repeated the day before again and again, sending sweet pain through my midsection. Remembering what Gerard said, what had happened in the bathroom of this same gym... I thought about it now and again the entire class. Nothing would distract me from it. And before long, PE was over, and we were in the locker room, changing and showering, and even then, I had no interest in looking at the boys. I didn't care. I just showered, got dressed, blew-dry my hair-which didn't look as good as it did earlier-and went through my next classes. Each one seemed longer than the last one, and I was having trouble getting through the assignments, because all I could think about was Frank.