Him

Broken

You broke me. You were what I always dreamed about. The standard that no other soul met. Tall, dark, and handsome. Your bold and gregarious personality was what put me in a daze. I ached for your attention and was mesmerized by your poetic words. You had me wrapped around your finger. I was your puppet. You made me feel so wanted. You couldn't go a single day without my presence. You were obsessed...we were obsessed. At least that's how it started. From your first words, I was yours before I even knew it. You always got your way. But once I was under your trance that's when I began falling down the rabbit hall. You started to create a monster. Someone that I didn't recognize when I saw my reflection in the mirror, but that was your game. Jealousy, guilt, anxiety, an inner turmoil that never ended. But I didn't know it existed in the moment, I thought that's what came with love. But I was wrong. Love does not need to damage. Love is not abuse. But I was blind to everything. I loved you so much, I thought you were my other half, but I wasn't happy. Honestly, I don't know if you ever were. Looking back now, I don't think you have ever allowed yourself to be happy because you never truly opened up completely. I think you were afraid, I think you still are afraid. When someone gets too close like I did, you close up and you tear them down. Once you did that, I didn't think I was enough for your but I kept fighting for you because I truly believed I loved you. But then I blew up, every emotion I had suppressed came spiraling down like a dormant volcano erupting for the first time in centuries. I did what you were too craven to do. I ended the agony that I believed was love. But only because I believed you didn't care. In that moment, I did not know that the one choice that I could not take back and the choice that put me in such a low place where I felt like I was trapped was also a gift that would befit me. Now I comprehend that my biggest mistake was one of the best choices I have made. You broke me...but it needed to be done so I could open my wings and thrive.