bellman

dreams.

I woke up for what seemed like the millionth time that night, for whatever reason I couldn't sleep. Maybe it was because Arabella seemed to visit me every night in my dreams.

Oh who am I kidding; of course it was because of Arabella.

I rolled over and sighed before giving up, sitting up and stepping over Sam, careful not to wake him up. I walked into my kitchen, flicking the light on. I poured myself a glass of water, sipping on it and looking out at the streets of New York.

It was about 4 in the morning, and I had to be at work in 2 hours.

I should be sleeping.

Arabella clouded my mind, she distracted me. I couldn't think of anything else. I was getting irritated with my foolishness. This is so childish, I should either tell her how I feel or get the fuck over my obsession.

But it wasn't that simple.

I couldn't just get over her. No matter how many times I've told myself to forget about it or find another girl, I just can't. My mind was fixated on Arabella. I rubbed my hand over my face and decided to get in the shower. I got undressed and stepped under the warm water, letting it soothe my muscles. My mind drifted and before I knew it, I had spent 45 minutes in the shower. I wrapped a towel around my waist and walked back to my room.

It was almost 5 in the morning and that meant I had to leave in about 20 minutes if I wanted to get my morning coffee. But then my mind drifted back to Arabella and how she bought me breakfast and sat with me. Talked with me. And I thought about 'forgetting' to get my breakfast just so I could be close to her again.

But I couldn't bring myself to make her pay for me again.

I slipped on my ripped jeans and black button up shirt, before slipping on my converse. I rolled up the sleeves and put a watch on my wrist, before walking towards my bathroom. I looked in the mirror and fixed my hair with my hands. My eyes drifted to the clock and I whispered oh shit as I realized it was already 5:30am. I was more than likely gonna be late for work; oh well.

I filled Sam's food and water before petting him goodbye. I snatched my keys off the counter and locked my door behind me. My mind was glazed over with thoughts of Arabella. I was so crazy in love; I honestly annoy myself with my obsession. I don't know why I loved the girl, because she had never really paid attention to me; never really looked at me twice.

I stopped in the small cafe I always ate at, and ordered my usually coffee. Before walking out, I ordered another drink; reminding myself of the happenings last week. I hurriedly drove to my work, and stepped the apartment building with two minutes to spare. My colleague and I switched places and I slouched in the office chair.

"I'll see you tomorrow Ethan", Lucy nodded her head at me and walked out the glass doors.

"Another 8 hours of torture", I whispered to myself.

The lobby was desolate; like usual. Nobody but the single security guard sitting by the elevator. He was always so quiet, I honestly forget he is there.

"Bought your own breakfast this time?", my ears were filled with the sweet sounds of Arabella's voice.

I lifted my head with a smug smile on my face while taking a sip of my coffee.

"It looks that way doesn't it?"

"Unless you had another college girl buy it for you", she teased me, placing her elbow on the desk.

"Yeah, that's kinda my thing. Can't you tell?", I laughed lightly, while nodding my head.

"I'll keep that in mind"

"Here", I slid the coffee I bought specifically for her across the desk. When her eyes landed on the drink, her cheeks grew a deep shade of red. My skin crawled with warmth. She hesitantly reached for the drink, offering a small smile to me.

"How did you know this was my favorite?", her eyebrows raised.

"I noticed you drank it the morning you brought me breakfast", I looked away in fear that she would notice my cheeks mimicked hers; bright and red.

"Thank you", she said thoughtfully.

"I've got to go, it was nice talking to you", she said and I struggled to hide the disappointment I felt. Of course she didn't have to stay; why would she? I smiled and nodded, and she walked away. Just as she was about to leave, she stopped and turned back around. I gave her a confused look and she simply smiled, jumping up and sitting beside me on the desk.

I felt giddy. I loved being near her.

"Oh don't give me that look", she said sarcastically and let out a small chuckle.

"Is Arabella actually sitting and talking to me?", I laughed slightly, while giving a mock surprise face.

"Yeah yeah, don't get used to it", she shoved my shoulder slightly and took a sip of her drink.

I immediately tensed up, because I was getting used to it. My happiest days were the ones that me and Arabella exchanged words. I now depended on her presence. She brought an aura of happiness and color and love. She was the person that I wanted to spend my days with. The person that I wanted to waste money on and take with me everywhere. The person that I wanted to be next to at the end of the day.

But she was also the person I couldn't have.

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