Honestly, I was scared. The steps to his - our - room was merely few steps away. I think I had seen something that should have made me stop the marriage. But I did not have the guts to do that. How can I when just the thought of staying away from him is so painful?
What if he is angry?
There was no ifs there. He would definitely be angry. I would just have to face it. Taking a deep breath, I pushed my feet to walk again. Just a couple of steps and I heard something crashing to the floor. I stopped again just outside the door. He was cursing quite colorfully.
Oh my God. Here I go.
My fingers had gone cold but I managed to twist the knob and quickly stepped inside. I bolted the door and turned around.
He was leaning on the window sill with a cigarette in his fingers. I could only see his silhouette against the shining moon. I walked across the room and placed the jug of milk I was holding on to the side table and turned to face him.
"Hi," I said, my voice coming out soft and shivery.
He didn't say anything. A puff of smoke raised from his mouth in a jet, shimmery against the full moon. He tucked his left arm around his chest and placed his right elbow on the forearm.
"Do you smoke a lot?"
He puffed out again and I felt the room begin to stink up. What was with the silent treatment? Honestly, I was getting kind of irked. Surely, he did not think he was a villain of the 80s, did he? When he didn't answer me, I walked towards the bed.
"Umm.. Which side do you want?"
He crushed the cigarette on the sill and turned around. I was once again dumbstruck with his handsome face. Without a word, he sat down on the right side of the bed, pulled a cover himself and tucked himself in.
I stood watching his back, not sure what to do. Should I try talking to him? What if he yells at me? Well I would be yelled at some day so maybe I should just get it out.
"I thought we could talk and, you know, get to know each other."
I squeezed my hands together in my nervousness. It was all I could do to not start babbling.
When he did not respond, I bit my lip and dropped my hands.
"Ish?"
His name felt good in my mouth. It calmed me to speak to him in such manner, like I knew him from long back.
However, his eyes that were fixed on the ceiling did not swing to me.
"Ish."
I sounded ridiculous in the silent room, talking to myself. He sat up so suddenly that I kind of jumped. My bangles and anklets jingled. He finally raised his eyes at and I noticed that his face was all stony and hard. Oh boy here comes.
"Won't you talk to-"
"Listen up well, for I am not going to tell this a second time. You do not speak to me. Ever. If I speak to you out of necessity, you may respond. I do not wish to see you at any point unless I ask you to be there specifically. If this is fine by you, we can stay together. If this feels unreasonable, then we can divorce. I will give you five minutes. Tell me your decision."
I stared at him.
"Are you joking?"
"No."
He leaned back and crossed his arms behind his head as a pillow. Crossing his ankles, he whistled a little tune, his feet waving in rhythm.
Okay, I had expected a reaction but this was beyond my expectations. Did he think I had no self-respect? That I am a spineless person? Did he think I would just accept whatever he says and stay back? I may have loved him but that did not mean I would stoop to any level! I would just leave him right away and join my mother-
And here my anger stopped. I had practically fought with my parents to get married with this guy. Although my parents' anger is not what worries me. What worries me is their grief. How would they feel when their daughter comes back less than 24 hours stating that her marriage was done? What would they tell their neighbours?
I know that society is not a point to decide my life but if it were only me who is affected then I could be all daring as I wanted. But I had to think of my sister too. Her marriage... How could my parents answer when people ask why their elder daughter is at home?
I know people are not really interested in others' life in city. But I live in a small town and people knew my father. He is a kind, considerate and wealthy man and that made him famous. Oh God, what have I done? What am I going to do? What-
"Your time is over. What is your decision?"
I glared at his swinging feet with hatred. Never have I so disliked a person. Okay, I guess I do not really have a choice. My parents deserve better than what I would subject them to if I walked away from this room. With a deep breath, I took my decision.
"If I have to live with your conditions, You need to live with some of mine."
He had the nerve the scoff.
"You do not get to make decisions. You have only one choice. Choose wisely."
"I would suggest you hear me out."
"No."
I grit my teeth. "Just what gives you the right to do this?"
He was off the bed so quick I jumped back a step. His hands were on my throat in a flash and i gasped, stumbling.
"Either you listen to me or I go down right now, wake your father up and say I am not interested in this marriage. You decide."
He let go of me and I collapsed to the floor, tears flooding my eyes. Damn him! Damn him to hell and back. He had hit my nerve and the bastard knew it too. As threats go this was very much effective. I took a few moments to compose myself and staggered to my feet.
"I am taking the left. Good night."
Wordlessly, I climbed the bed. A few moments later, I heard him do the same. The bed light went out. It was a long time before I finally fell asleep.
