sick // r. bortuzzo

Chapter 3 - Robert

It had been a couple of weeks since that first date with Calla. Since then it was a few lunches or dinners here and there, but since season was starting to wrap up it had been mainly coffee dates in between trips and games. It took me all that time to get her to hang out with the guys again. We had a kickback that was mainly just the team, some girlfriends and wives joined.

"Rusty is going to be there. You'll at least have someone to talk to. I promise that most of the girlfriends are nicer than the random girls you met that one night." She just nodded her head and pulled her sleeves over her hands. "And are you going to freak out if I introduce you as my girlfriend?"

Her eyes widened and I just smiled. "I uh. I- well, I guess not."

I looked over to see her playing with her necklace. It had a hockey glove pendent on it. The one I got for her years ago when she was re-admitted to the hospital.

"You still have that?"

"Yeah. I still wear it all the time," she quietly admitted, "kind of reminds me to keep fighting."

I led Calla into the house, introducing her to those she hadn't met yet.  Everyone seemed pretty welcoming once they realized how serious I was about her. She was brought into the kitchen with Rusty to talk to the girls.

"So you made it official, huh?"

"Yeah. But if she keeps up the progress, she'll probably be leaving. Unless she stays here and does some sort of intensive outpatient treatment." I didn't like that thought. I mean, I couldn't ask her to move in quite yet. I just didn't want her to leave.

"Kind of bittersweet, isn't it?" Rusty asked. I looked over her shoulder to see the smile on Calla's face while she talked to Fabbri's girl. "You want her to get better, but her getting better means her leaving. And don't you dare think about finding ways to get her to stay in St. Louis. She'll make her own decisions with her doctors."

"I wasn't-"

"Yes you were Robert. You tried to get her the best help you could last time."

"And it bit me in the ass. Okay, Rusty. I'll stay out of it."

I put my arm around Calla and kissed her temple as soon as everyone joined the group. She was shaking her head as the ladies tried to get her to do something.

"I don't even know what I'd sing."

"Your favorite song at the moment." I grabbed the hand that wasn't holding her mug as she closed her eyes.

"Tell her a story. Tell her the honest truth. You treat her better. Make sure to see it through... But don't you run away run away when you get tired. 'Cause this will slip away slip away and start a fire that can never be put out. Oh hurry time is running out. But don't you run away run away before you tell her you love her."

She finished the song and I couldn't help but think of the first time I met her. The song I heard her singing soon became my favorite. I was sure this would be too. I leaned down to whisper in her ear, "You're amazing."

Calla blushed and hid her face in her hands as everyone told her the same. "Since you're now a Blues girlfriend, are you going to join us for games?"

"I don't know. After twelve hours of talking about your feelings, I get a little exhausted and cranky. But I can try."

I laughed. She wasn't lying. After she spent the day eating and talking about her feelings, she wasn't the happiest person in the world. Especially when she had staffing or some big revelation was made. Those nights, I either left her alone or just let her lay on me as I played with her hair.

"Don't be like that, Robert." She poked my side.

"Well, you're definitely not miss sunshine. Ever."

"And yet you still want to be around me every second you're home."

"Yeah, yeah I guess so." Between me being out of town a lot and her unable to do much during the day, I spent the most time with her that I could. And, she would most likely go home soon.

I put my arm around her waist. I could feel her hip bone stick through her sweats. I didn't know how to make her happy. I didn't know how to make her love herself and that drives me insane. She always called me superman because I definitely have a superman complex when it comes to her.

I guess I just didn't want to lose her

"So you are staying the night?"

"You promised me breakfast, Robert. And I get to sleep in. Of course I'm staying with you." She kissed the tip of my nose and got out of the truck.

Calla was pretty tired by the time that we got to my house so she ate her fruit and we crawled in bed to watch Suits. I'd be lying if I said I didn't buy a new down comforter for her. I didn't know how much she would be over, but I know that she would need a warmer blanket.

She was wearing one of my sweatshirts and a pair of shorts. I knew she was still freezing, like she always was, but wouldn't admit it. She hated asking for help. So, I pulled her close to me and hoped that the comforter and body heat would be enough for her to fall asleep.

It didn't take long. Her breathing had evened out and she started to talk. It was mainly just her mumbling about food or being fat. Then, then she said something that took me by surprise.

"I love you. Mmm. Rob. Robert." As she kept saying my name, her voice grew more and more fearful. "No. No, stop. Don't leave me."

Unsure of whether or not to wake her, I pulled her closer. When she started to shake I couldn't take it anymore. "Calla, Calla I'm right here."

"Everyone leaves. Why does everyone leave, Robert?"

"I'm not leaving. I'll be here until you don't want me." I prayed that day wouldn't be any time soon.

"But you're going to be sick of me. You're going to get tired of me not eating or something. I know you are."

"I'm tired of you hating yourself, but that's not a reason to leave. I'm not going to leave if you gain weight or end up in the hospital again. Just try to go to sleep and I'll be right here." I kissed her forehead and pulled her closer.

When I woke up, she was buried under the blanket and I had close to none. That didn't really bother me. She looked peaceful and happy for once. Like she wasn't trying to fight her body on staying alive. I made sure not to move her as I got up to make breakfast. It wasn't anything special. Mainly just fresh fruit I bought yesterday with bacon and a parfait.

Calla padded into the kitchen, wrapped up in a sheet. Her bun was off to the side of her head. "I'm going to take a shower really quick."

When she got out, she was just in a towel. It was probably the most naked I've seen her physically. She always slept with clothes on and well, after my first attempt at getting her in bed with me I told myself that I was going to leave that up to her. As far as I knew Calla was still a virgin at 22.

"Robert." Her voice got me out of the trance I was in. I felt bad that I was staring at her,  but it wasn't a new thing. I just kind of happened a lot.

"Bacon will be done when you get dressed." I mumbled, going back to cutting up the fruit.

It was a pretty quiet breakfast. We didn't have much to say, but it was always comfortable with her. Sometimes it's nice to just sit in silence occasionally.

"I'll let you know when I get back to my apartment and we can watch a movie or something."

"We leave for a road trip tonight."

"Right. Call me when you get where you're going." Her lips quickly brushed against mine before she jumped out of the truck. It was the last time I would be seeing her for about two weeks and I didn't know what to do.