Oblivion

The Dreamer

(Haley's POV)

      I shivered as the cold wind hit my arms. Why wasn't I wearing my jacket? I turned and saw it laying on the ground about three feet away from me. I felt a warm hand grab mine. I looked up to the person but it was too dark for me to see what his face looked like. "Haley," what how did he know my name? "Don't hide away into oblivion" he said giving my hand a light squeeze. I nodded and took a step forward to the edge looking down to the water. Why was I doing this? Why couldn't I stop myself? What's happening? "3..2..1" on one we both jumped off the edge. I felt coldness rush over me, but when I opened my eyes I was looking up at a celling. I sat up, I was in my room. It was all just a dream. But the boy in the dream, there was something that felt real about him. I couldn't stop thinking about him. I don't even know what he looked like or who he was but I don't know its hard to explain. I looked to the left to see my blanket on the floor. That's probably why I felt cold. I grabbed my phone that was charging on the floor next to me. It read 4:30 A.M. My alarm wasn't going to go off until 5:30. Which is the time I get up for school. Now your probably wondering why I get up so early. Well I live really far away from school. My parents can't give me a ride and I don't want to take the bus because I don't want people knowing where I live for certain reasons. It takes me about an hour to walk to school. So I leave around 6'oclock. I usually get there at like 7. School starts at 7:30 so I have time to work on assignments i didn't finish. I knew I wasn't gonna fall back asleep so I just turned on the light to my room.

       I opened the blinds to see the sun starting to rise. So I put my headphones in and played some old Panic at the Disco songs. Soon as I watched the sun rising I zoned out into my thoughts. I thought of events that would be happy. I imagined having someone with me, sitting on a roof just watching the sunrise. I wish I could do that but I would be to scared to try. So now seems like a good time to explain a little about me. So as you know my name is Haley. At school I am known as the "dreamer". I have very bad anxiety so I am never able to do the things a normal teenager would do. Like go to parties or just hangout in general. I don't have any friends because of it. So since I am not able to go out and do things I use my imagination to take me places. I think about doing things. I have a list of things I want to do but with my anxiety I can't. Once word spread at school about my anxiety and how I think of doing all these things. That was when it started to go bad. All the kids thought I was weird, so I guess my imagination is my only friend at this point. Some call me creepy and some call me crazy. I just try to tune them out. At this point no one tries to talk to me anymore. The friends I used to have tried to help me the teachers tried to help me but they all gave up after a while. They just let me be like this even though I know its bad for me. Everyday I just isolate myself digging into a hole that I soon wont be able to get out of. But that doesn't really matter I guess.

         Now onto a different part, my family.. I mentioned how I didn't want people to know where I live. Well all the people at school think my parents are big business people and that they are always off on trips for work. But well that's all a lie. My dad has a job but it's at a factory. He spends most of the money he makes on alcohol the rest on bills. My mom well she just stays home all day and drinks or takes drugs that her friends give her. My house it isn't very good it looks bad from the outside but it is worse on the inside. We hardely have all the utensils needed for daily life. My room for example. It consists of a mattress on the floor an old dresser that holds my clothes a small desk with a lamp and a bathroom that connects to it. I honestly hate living here with my family, I wish I could run away and never be found but I was too scared to leave.

      I was suddenly snapped out of my thoughts as my alarm when off. What, an hour had already passed? Well I mean I guess I'm not really surprised. This is what I was talking about. I think a lot. It's just so intense sometimes to where I will sit for hours upon in just thinking but it would only feel like a few minutes for me. I guess I really was starting to go insane but that a thought for a different time. I stood up seeing that the sun was now already in the sky. I pulled out my headphones before I went to my dresser changing. I put on some black skinny jeans my black sweatshirt and some old worn out converse. I packed all my things I needed into my backpack. I have had the same backback for the last three years. Whenever someone asked I just say it's different but it's the same type. With that I walked down the stairs into the kitchen to get something small to eat. I decided on an apple. I sat in silence as I ate it. My parents we're probably still asleep. My dad didnt go into work until 8 a.m. so I spent the mornings by myself. I threw away the core of my apple and looked at the time. 5:57. I sighed knowing I had to leave. I got up and walked out shutting the door behind me. I put my Hood up to avoid any attention and started walking. Another day, another panic attack, another bully, but yet one day closer to the day I can die and leave the world and my problems behind.

(Oops that kinda ended sadly I'm sorry this sucked I'll try to update soon so Colby actually does something here xD also sorry for the mistakes I wrote a lot of this on my phone I'll come back later and fix them, anyway I hope you like it until next time)