Today is my court date. I didn’t know until a couple of days ago that attempting suicide was against the law, and now apparently I could get locked up for it? I wouldn’t go to jail that just wouldn’t be right. No they would send me somewhere much worse to rehab. Luke told my parents everything, and when I say everything I really do mean it. The drugs, the cutting, the previous attempt, and even the sex…
I knew I wasn’t miss perfect, but I really liked the idea of my parents thinking I was, and now I was nothing close to perfect. My mom won’t even look me in the eye, and anytime my dad tries he just starts to cry. I’ve only seen him cry a couple times. When his mom died, and when his step dad died. I’ve been in the hospital for 3 days now and today I have to sit on a stand, why do they say you’re going to stand on a stand that’s not true you sit! Anyway I get to tell my whole story to 12 strangers and an ugly old judge. Yay for me right?
I walk into the court room, on the left are my family members; mom, dad, grandma, and my aunt. Guess they couldn’t bring the headstone in for Brooke. On the right are “friends”; Amber, Alex, Luke, and the entire cheerleading team. Talk about embarrassing. I sit down in front of a desk and behind a small fence. We stand as a what seems to be fairly young man in a dress enters, after he sits we sit. He looks at my attorney and says, “So we agree to the terms then? I’m a bit confused; he didn’t say anything about any terms. Is there something they weren’t telling me? My attorney agrees and the judge bangs his hammer. “The defendant will be placed under custody of her aunt in Los Angeles, where she will live until she is 18”, the judge says.
Wait what? I have to move across the country, because I tried to die? What the fuck is up with these laws, shouldn’t it be my choice if I want to die or not?! I look back at my aunt who I haven’t seen since summer and smile, as much as I don’t want to move if I had to choose who to live with it would be her. My aunt is a cop for the LAPD, but she is so nice, and really pretty, it will be like living with my older sister. I get 24 hours to pack my things and move, oh and I forgot to mention I’m on probation. Once a month I have to meet with an officer and a therapist who will give me a drug test, make sure I haven’t broke the law, and then the therapist will ask me how that makes me feel!
Moving, I’ve never really lived anywhere else except Florida, this will be different. I board the plane with aunt, and all I can think about is when will I get the chance to try again? Do they have drug dealers at the school I’m going to go to? How will I get a razor?
