Don't Drop The Soap

Don't Drop The Soap (Pilot)  

        ACT I Scene 1 

NARRATOR: Is this thing on? Oh ok. (clears throat and makes voice into trailer voice) It all started one tragic day...  

BIG BROTHER is lying on a bed asleep.  

BIG BROTHER (Mumbling asleep): Please Mr.Wonka! I'm sorry!...I won't tell anyone about it...Your chocolate is made out of children...It's delicious...Don't release the super panda! (He opens his eyes and springs up) Help me! 

The room is completely empty. BIG BROTHER is just laying up looking at the ceiling in panic. Camera angle changes to look up at the ceiling lights and returns BIG BROTHER laying down. DR. SURGEON aproaches the bed holding his cane.  

DR.SURGEON: Good morning 

BIG BROTHER: Who are you? 

DR.SURGEON: Are you stupid? I'm your surgeon, doctor, DR. SURGEON. (Checks his graph) Oh...I know why you forgot. 

BIG BROTHER: Why? 

DR.SURGEON: You have...(Camera zooms in on face as he poses and says things dramatically) AMNESIA! (Camera zooms back to normal) You only remember the week before you got in a coma. Oh and you're dying of WW Syndrome.  

BIG BROTHER: What's WW Syndrome?  

DR.SURGEON: How am I supposed to know that? 

BIG BROTHER: Aren't you the doctor? 

NARRATOR: But he did not know the tragic secret behind DR.SURGEON... 

BIG BROTHER: Did you hear that?

DR.SURGEON: I didn’t hear anything   

BIG BROTHER: So what am I going to do about my amnesia? 

DR.SURGEON: I don't know, it's not my problem! Here (hands over a piece of paper and a pen) your lawyer told me to give you this after you woke up.   

BIG BROTHER (Filling up the paper): What is this? Ok... signing here promising I won’t sue for negligence and malpractrice, initials here. Done. Wait what! Kidney! 

DR.SURGEON snatches paper away and laughs. 

DR.SURGEON: Too late you signed! 

BIG BROTHER feels around in his back and stops. 

BIG BROTHER: Where's my kidney?! 

DR.SURGEON: We took it out and sold it. You couldn’t pay for your bills so we had to think of something 

NARRATOR: true fact, hospitals will steal organs from coma patients under Obama care 

BIG BROTHER: Dude! I had money! I could've paid. Wait were not even in a hospital! 

DR.SURGEON: It's the recession! This is the best NBC could do! You know what, I don’t have time to talk to you, I'm a doctor!  

NARRATOR: Another known fact, NBC is going broke 

BIG BROTHER: But wait, what am I supposed to do now? 

DR.SURGEON: I don't know, but hey, cheer up, you'll forget everything soon 

DR.SURGEON walks away and camera closes on BIG BROTHER.