A Screenplayby Yunogasaikilledme
EXT. VASQUEZ ROCKS - AFTERNOON
Bold private detective DCI MARY WILLIAMS is arguing with adorable psychiatrist DI GRAHAM RAMSBOTTOM. MARY tries to hug GRAHAM but he shakes her off.
MARY
Please Graham, don't leave me.
GRAHAM
I'm sorry Mary, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces her fears head on, instead of running away.
MARY
I am such a person!
GRAHAM frowns.
GRAHAM
I'm sorry, Mary. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.
GRAHAM leaves.
MARY sits down, looking defeated.
Moments later, hopeful teacher MS JENNA JOHNSON barges in looking flustered.
MARY
Goodness, Jenna! Is everything okay?
JENNA
I'm afraid not.
MARY
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...
JENNA
It's ... a sea monster ... I saw an evil sea monster frame a bunch of kittens!
MARY
Defenseless kittens?
JENNA
Yes, defenseless kittens!
MARY
Bloomin' heck, Jenna! We've got to do something.
JENNA
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.
MARY
You can start by telling me where this happened.
JENNA
I was...
JENNA fans herself and begins to wheeze.
MARY
Focus Jenna, focus! Where did it happen?
JENNA
A greasy diner! That's right - A greasy diner!
MARY springs up and begins to run.
EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS
MARY rushes along the street, followed by JENNA. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.
EXT. A GREASY DINER - SHORTLY AFTER
HELEN VADER a predatory sea monster terrorises two kittens.
MARY, closely followed by JENNA, rushes towards HELEN, but suddenly stops in her tracks.
JENNA
What is is? What's the matter?
MARY
That's not just any old sea monster, that's Helen Vader!
JENNA
Who's Helen Vader?
MARY
Who's Helen Vader? Who's Helen Vader? Only the most predatory sea monster in the universe!
JENNA
Blinkin' knickers, Mary! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most predatory sea monster in the universe!
MARY
You can say that again.
JENNA
Blinkin' knickers, Mary! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most predatory sea monster in the universe!
MARY
I'm going to need rainbows, lots of rainbows.
Helen turns and sees Mary and Jenna. She grins an evil grin.
HELEN
Mary Williams, we meet again.
JENNA
You've met?
MARY
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...
EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME
