Unspoken

Chapter: Don't Go (Neverland)

Song: ピーターパン・シンドローム//Peter-Pan Syndrome

The sound of my own heartbeat echos within my ears as I stand, the beautiful piano music drowned out completely as I turn to gaze at the beautiful angel that glides down the aisle, a hand in her father's arm.

'This is really happening, huh Mari?' 

Some of my senses catch back up to me and I blink, vaguely making out some of the joyful snifflings near me as Mari reaches the altar and takes Dia's hand with a grateful, loving smile. My heart that's been sinking since I arrived feels like it's about to break. I thought I could be able to handle that soft gentle gaze that she now directs at her soon-to-be wife...

'If only your gaze were directed at me now...'

My back straightens and I can feel my hand clenching into a fist at my side as I try to calm my emotions. I didn't come here to wallow in misery over such a happy ceremony. I came to support my two best friends...as they get married to each other. 

'If only we could return to those carefree days...'

As the priest begins to speak, I can feel my attention being drawn to the blonde-haired beauty as my mind starts to travel back in time...

xXx

"Kanan-chan! Run faster! Faster!!"

The gleeful cry of a high pitched young girl resounds, carrying itself over the crashing waves as a young Kanan is carrying a young Mari on her back as she runs along the foamy edges of the beach.

"It's like I'm flying, Kanan! Weee~!" 

Even at her young age, Kanan could only grin and marvel at how beautiful and happy Mari looked. The sounds of her giggling with carefree hands outstretched, trusting Kanan to keep from falling, would make for a picturesque childhood memory...

"You're the best, Kanan!"

"I won't let you go, Mari!"

xXx

I sigh softly to myself as I blink back into the moment before me, seemingly just in time to hear the tail end of their vows as they proclaim their love for each other.

'If I could stop or rewind time...if I had the courage to step in and whisk you away...'

My jaw tightens as I clench my teeth, willing those thoughts away. To do something so selfish when Mari looks so happy right now...

'So happy she's even crying...'

As much as I want such a beautiful, joyful gaze to be directed at me, I know Dia can make her happy; that Dia does make her happy. I mean, she's marrying her after all...

'Please...don't go...'

And as the applause erupts and the happy couple make their way down the aisle, Mari's gaze finds mine. It feels as though time slows down, blurring everything around us. Her gaze is focused on me, like before, and I feel my heart swell for a moment. All the things I wish I had said start to bubble within my throat, but they only feel like acid as I forcefully swallow them back down. With all my strength, I plaster a happy smile on my face, clapping along with everyone else as I mouth the only words I can to her.

"Congratulations."

Something in her gaze shifts for a moment before her cat-like grin settles in place and she tosses her bouquet in the air. Without missing a beat, she points her signature 'lock-on' pose at me and declares, "Next time it might be your turn, Kanan~!"

I could only laugh along and shake my head at how Mari's antics and carefree attitude never change, no matter the occasion. After all, what else could I have said that wouldn't ruin everything? 

As the newly wedded couple exit through the church's doors, the bells toll as if on cue and I feel a part of myself slowly growing numb with each ring.

'No matter how much I want to return to those days, my place by your side will never hold that meaning I've longed for huh, Mari?'

And as the sound of the church bell's blessings rings, I was left to dream within my neverland.