Never truly alone

Prologue

Have you ever found yourself sitting alone questioning your very existence? I myself find this a recurring thought always plaguing my mind, it's like I can never really escape reality and always find that my mind relapses back to the day that an accident destroyed my life in one simple second. One action took everything from me; in the blink of an eye everything was gone.

First things first let me formally introduce myself, I'm Arizona Smith. Nothing more and nothing less just that, an identification that makes me known to others although I do have a preference for being called Ari, but that is another story for another time.

So my question to you is do you know, I mean truly know how it feels to be alone? Not like being left alone by yourself whilst your parents go shopping, the real being alone, like being condemned to live the rest of your miserable existence on your own without a mother to comfort you over the silly problems in your life like falling out with friends, needing advice regarding relationship advice and just generally being there in your life; or even having a father there to be ready to walk you down the aisle on your big day and keeping monsters at bay when they invade your nightmares.

So I will ask you again do you know how it feels to be truly alone. The answer 99% of you will give will be no. You don't know what it feels like and you probably never will. Me, however, I do know, I feel isolated from the world lost in the wilderness with no way back and it's hard constantly living in fear of how long I may have on this earth. I mean I thought me and my family would have the possibility of living together for decades before our lives were claimed. Sadly that was not to happen. Fate was very cruel the day she decided to steal the lives of those dearest to me. It seems like only yesterday when we were all there just living life like a normal family. Fair enough we weren't perfect by any means, we had our petty arguments and squabbles but at the end of the day we were as normal as you could get to an everyday 21st Century family - considering that we were all werewolves.

My mother was a kind soul, she was sweet and thoughtful, didn't have a mean bone in her body that woman didn't. She couldn't bear to raise her voice to shout at us and heavily relied on our father if my brother and I were to put a toe out of line. She loved cooking and baked for many people at the homeless shelters that were scattered around the area. My mother was a close to a living saint as you could get in the real world. She would do anything for anyone and was there to lend an ear anyway. Her looks complimented her personality in every way, her light ash blonde hair matched her soul, and it was pure. She had warm honey brown eyes that sparkled when she spoke. She was the exact opposite to my father - I suppose opposites really do attract.

So as I said my father was nothing like my mother, don't get me wrong I'm not going to say he was horrible and mean and had 3 eyes and 12 toes God no. My father was a strict man who had a very dominating personality which did play a key part considering that he was the alpha of our small pack of 20 wolves. He had midnight black hair and icy blue eyes. He was tall, very tall where as my mother was very petite. He was very protective of his family and his pack and was a good powerful leader. Just like my brother would have been had he got the chance to take over from my father once he was ready to relinquish the mantle of power to Gregory. As tradition the position of alpha was passed on to the oldest child born of the alpha whether they were male or female as both could take leadership of the pack and lead with their mate once they had found them.

Sadly it wasn't to be as by now you can gather that there was an accident that ensured the reign of my family wasn't to continue. They always say that fate acts in weird ways and that everything happens for a reason but I couldn't see why this took place. They happen every day to every type of person. Whether you are young or old, male or female, short or tall the list goes on. My father and mother were taking me and my brother on a trip to visit another pack in hopes of merging. We were quite a small pack with only 30 members and this other pack having slightly more at 42 wolves. In hopes of offering more protection to all members in both packs my father was hoping to offer an allegiance with joint leader ship during the rough times that both packs were facing with the increase in hunters of our kind. The one good thing that came about from this is that the packs did merge but 3 people never got to experience what it would be like in a larger pack and there was only one alpha to lead so the packs would never separate again.

Our car was involved in a collision that left my mother and father dead on impact from the car, my brother and I however did survive the initial impact with broken bones and scrapes covering almost every inch of our bodies. I would be the only survivor from the incident however as my brother shortly after succumbed to his injuries and ceased to breathe. I waited as the authorities came and took away the bodies and I was loaded onto a gurney and rushed to the emergency department to receive specialist attention. The extents of my injuries that I sustained were horrific and I would be permanently scarred. I was put in a medically induced coma for 2 weeks to give my brain the chance to recover and when I awoke I was alone. I was in no fit state to assume leader of the pack and when the alpha of the pack came to speak to me and offer his condolences I told him that I couldn't lead with him and that I was incredibly sorry. He was very understanding to say the least and he offered me a place that I would be safe and where I could recover. He helped me that day when I was discharged from the hospital to recover at home. He shifted into wolf form and carried me back to the pack base as I refused to travel by vehicle.

He also helped me bury the bodies of my family and consoled me when they were lowered into the ground but I was numb and depressed and I wanted to join them. To this day I remain physically and emotionally scarred from an accident that occurred 2 years ago but changed my life forever. I'm alone and face many demons. I probably always will, right now I had to face the prospect of starting a new school year. I was held back last year as I failed to complete my exams and I have been given another chance to retake it. I was told to do it to give myself a chance at succeeding in a normal life but how could I go on when I was still haunted by an accident that terrifies me to this very day.

I'm Arizona Smith and this is my story...