Silence

The Beginning

I sit in the bathroom, propped up on my knees, and I'm hugging the toilet. Before I know it I'm throwing up all of breakfast and lunch. I hate the way my body looks, I feel fat. Like I weigh over a thousand pounds. I know that's not accurate, but it's how my mind receives it. I wipe my mouth with the back of my arm and shudder. The taste still remaining on the surface of my tongue.

                        "Harry... honey are you okay?" Great. In comes my mum. I whimper softly not talking. I haven't talked since I last year. When Zayn, the school jock, decided to make fun of me. He pointed out all of my flaws. My insecurities, if you will. He told me how fat my thighs were, he said I looked like an elephant on steroids. He made of my hair, telling me curly Q wants her hair back. If that wasn't bad enough for ya... he gave  me a swirlie. Which is just hallway talk for dunking your whole face into his the toilet.

I look up at my mum. I continue to whimper, as I allow tears to stream down my face. She takes me in her arms. I only curl into them. I'm sobbing like a little baby.
                   "Shh  Harry it's okay." She cooes. "I'm guessing you had another episode." I only flinch. Why did she always proclaim it to be an episode. It's not just "little episodes" she's not even dealing with them. What does she know?! I feel her lay me in my bed. I curl under the covers and I'm soon fast asleep.

~•~

I feel someone shake me awake.  Should've known it would be my mum. She pulls me upward by the arm, I only curl into her chest, trying to go back to sleep. That's all I really want to do... now that I think about it.
                        "Harry c'mon." I think you need to meet someone."
She helps me up and I rub my sore red eyes. I don't know it yet... but happiness is right around the corner.
I put on a simple black sweat shirt and gray baggy sweat pants. This way no one knows my tummy. I hate my tummy. It's so... bleh. Pudgy and nasty. And fat. I hate myself.

I feel my mum ruffle my curls and tries to get me to smile. No reason to smile. I'm still at home. Living with my mother. Who has nothing but sympathy for me. If she didn't have to take care of me she would obviously be a lot happier. That makes tears fill my eyes. What if she doesn't want to care for me? What if she just doesn't because she has to.
I'm suddenly brought away from my thoughts as we reach the kitchen. Two gentleman standing before me.

The first one I notice is quite short. A lot shorter than me, anyway. He has feathery brown hair and sky blue eyes. Beautiful twinkles easily shown. As I look closer I see tears brimming his eye lids. His face is flushed pink. And he is biting his lower lip. I know for a fact that something is wrong with him. Not just upset I sense that he has an illness. Similar to mine if not the same.

                      "Ann, thank you for allowing us to come over." The other gentleman says. He sounds saddened, maybe the boy is his son. I don't know. "Is it alright if we talk privately?"
She looks at me as if asking for permission. I only nod and before I know it. Blue eyes and I are walking upstairs to my room.