Empty Shell

Chapter 1

     In that moment my empty heart has been filled to its brim and never have I doubted him. I think I was longing attention and love after all. I knew I am the one at fault at that time and this second chance I will do everything that pleases him. After that, everything comes back to color again and my happy days are starting again, and so I thought.

     I thought worse have come when they all left me but worst is still to come lurking in the shadows of lies. When I thought it is being fixed, it is after all being wrecked more.

     Tears roll down my cheeks again for so long after he walks away. I was left standing in the middle of a stormy night because of the mistake I have done long time ago. Tears are rolling down my cheeks again. I stood there for hours but I cannot bring myself to move, to stop crying or to at least shout at my frustration. A hard wind blows and a strike of lightning flashes up in the sky and every memory of the past came rushing back.

     I arrived home to see my mother and father shouting at each other. Mom held Lienne, my baby step sister and a bag on the other hand. Yes, I know, I am an unwanted child because of the mistake of my father. Mom doesn’t know but one way or another she found out now. When I was twelve Dad said their true daughter died when she was born and I was born the same time. He paid the girl who she made the mistake with to shut up and leave me to him. I was angry to my real mother since after that I never even heard of her and never even see her. My step mom was my mother, blood related or not, but I guess not for her. She turn with a disgusted look at me like I am some trash and a pleading yet fierce stare at my father and said “choose between me and your mistake”. It hurts to hear that coming from a mother who treated you a daughter after all these years and suddenly hated you so much.

     “You won’t see me and Lienne ever again… but if you choose me we’ll start over again without her”. I knew what will be the answer of Dad. He was madly in love with her that he even traded me to their death daughter to prevent his wife from getting crazy over its death.

     My father snatches a pleading glance at me, pleading me to understand and my heart began to crush. A tear roll down and I wipe it immediately. He goes upstairs and I was left. My mother, if I can still call her that, slap me in the face and all I could do was stare. Father arrived with a bag and I knew I was nothing to them now. They never said a word, they just leave me there. I wanted to run after them but something tells me I would be shoved away.

     I was left standing on the house then it started to rain. I gained enough self-control to pick up my phone and call my boyfriend. I closed all the lights and closed the door but never lock it.

     I arrived at the park in our meeting place to see them, my boyfriend and secret love slash best friend on a brutal fist fight on the dirt. I run to stop them. They are two important people in my life and the only ones left to me. My boyfriend stops punching my best friend who has a bloody nose and a cut on the lips when he heard me approaching. My boyfriend has an oncoming black eye but nevertheless unhurt. Both of them are gasping for breath to steady their selves. I don’t know who to approach but seeing my best friend like that lying on the mud, I knelt beside him and I knew my eyes held so much concern. I help him so that he no longer lying in the dirt then I made him look at me in my eyes, I made him leave. I knew it would hurt him but it is the right thing to do then I whispered “never come back”. I hope in God that he won’t obey me. He looked me with confusion but it immediately turns into hatred stare. Without a word he also left.

     As soon as he was far away I turned around just to be shock at the way my boyfriend is looking at me with burning rage.

     “You love him.” It is not a question but a mere fact. Instantly as if my reflex is the one who acts I replied no.

     Wrong! That moment I realized that I have grown to love him more than a friend but I knew I also love my boyfriend. From the looks of it he does not believe me. I open my mouth to explain and make him see that despite of it I remain faithful of him that I still love him more but he is now walking away from me with so much hatred in his eyes that kept me rooted on the spot. All I can do is stared at his back.

     I should have followed him but again I can’t bring my feet to move. I feared to be rejected. And again for the second time I was left by the ones I love. Now my heart totally crushed and nothing was left within it.

     I come back to reality to see his back on me again. What can hurt more if before is already seems existed at nothing? I thought every word, every promise, every stare, every kiss he gave is true but I guess this is what I get, a bitter sweet revenge, the same way I do not intended to do to him is the one he intended to do to me after all.

     I don’t know how I arrived at home if I can still call it home after all there’s no family living there anymore just me and my sorrow. The once beautiful place full of laughter becomes a haunted house. Everywhere is covered by dust. The sink in he kitchen held numerous plates that are still dirty. The lights are out except for a single room. A room that felt cold but mercifully cleans enough. The bills are paid by someone. Allowance arrived via mail and she doesn’t care one bit. She only knew that she is alone.

     There is nothing left in me now if there is still to begin with. The nothing that has been filled before had totally vanished. I have no emotion, no soul they say that I am living but dead.

     I continue to study but never utter a word unless asked by a teacher. There is no reason to smile or even cry. I have been living in the darkness without anything.

     At first they show concern but then they slowly fade away. My best friend takes my word and never comes back and I began to blame God but I can’t bring myself to. I still have too much faith on Him. Even my parents never come back for me but I knew they wouldn’t. After that day I promise I won’t fall again. My heart is nowhere to be found because it can be anywhere and I won’t find it ever again just to be shattered farther.

 

*Author's note: Naisip ninyo ba na sana pinatay ko na lang si girl kasi super depressing ng story? antayin niyo may kasunod pa yan... The Sweet Ending... hehehehe... bukas din...

 

pasensya na po sa mga maling grammar or spelling... wala po akong editor kung hindi ako lang weh.. saka na po iyon pagsikat na ako