Nathan

❹❼

No matter how hard anybody tries.

"Well, with that being said, we're going to go get a seat on the shuttle, want us to save you guys one?" Eli asked, trying to at least be civil in Roman's presence.

"Yeah, so that's..." I trailed off, in order to count the seats on my fingers. "four seats, save four other seats."

"That's too many, you overestimate how intimidating I am, Peri. I'm a small white boy, you're looking at probably one seat ... you're lucky if I can even save that." Asher pointed out, causing all of us to laugh. He was only half serious, so the two walked away in order to save all of the seats.

Ro and I watched together as they walked down the hallway, pushing each other into the lockers. After a few seconds, they disappeared around the corner, and Roman took that as a great opportunity to grab onto me. I collided softly with the wall, and he moved in closer. But I pushed him away, kind of like how I've been doing ever since we got together.

We've managed to keep it a secret, only because we weren't sure how everybody would react. Yeah, we're not in our relationship for anybody else, but still.

Roman moved away frustratingly, running both hands through his hair. "Peri, what's going on? Every time I try to be loving towards you, you push me away! Do you not want to, because it's okay if you don't, it's your choice. But, I just want to know, the uncertainty is maddening." The brunette informed, finally fed up with my antics.

"I'm sorry, I've just been so stressed lately." I lie.

"Really? Last week when I came over and we were making out on your bed, I asked you if you were stressed and you said no. I'm just trying to figure this out." Roman recalled.

It was true, I had noticed that he had caught on to my dodgy behavior a while ago. I just wanted to buy more time to come to terms with why I was actually avoiding sex, or anything sexual.

"Look, it's not a big deal, okay? I'll ... I'll warm up to the idea, you just have to give me time." I report, and the both of us started to walk towards the front of the school slowly.

"That's the thing, Peri, sex shouldn't be something you have to warm up to. If having sex with me makes you feel uncomfortable then that's fine, it's your body, you know? Don't be ashamed, just be honest." Ro told, not understanding how serious the situation was.

"It's not you babe, when I tell you this, please don't be mad. But, whenever we're about to have sex or something, all I can think about is Nathan. It's not because you're not enough or anything like that, he's just still in the back of my head." I admit, watching as his face turned really sour.

The boy took a deep breath before responding. "If that's the case then maybe you choosing me was a bad ide–"

"NO! You're who I want, Roman, I just haven't made peace with him, so it's like he's haunting me. I've been avoiding him too, which is why things haven't resolved." I elaborated, making it utterly clear that the problem wasn't with him.

Instead of responding to me, he just stood there with a conflicted expression. I grabbed him by his face and pulled him in for a kiss, and he complied. I never realized that I'd have to make amends with Nate before I could move on. I guess he took more away from me than I thought.

X

It was now after the graduation ceremony, and the crowd at the riverfront was only growing. All of us seniors had already gathered in a circle and threw our graduation caps into the air. Which, by the way, was a moment I'll never forget. We were officially on our own, and coming to terms with the path we've walked down thus far. I can easily name a few people, though, whose dreams are too big for what fate actually has in store for them.