Lovenapped

Blood

Leyla

It's been three weeks since I thought it was all just going to end. I felt so weak. The blood just wouldn't stop gushing from my wrists no matter what I tried to do. Honestly, I saw my life flash before my eyes. My whole pitiful life. I've done nothing significant. I've always followed my parents instructions, school, university, educate yourself. I don't understand, if it's been three weeks why have I not been found yet? Why does it seem that nobody cares I'm gone? Surely my parents would be worried sick, I haven't called them; Mrs Manzo, the librarian, must surely be wondering where her books are and the university should be worrying about why I'm no longer attending class, right? Maybe I have a too high opinion of myself, I never really fitted in. I don't even know why I was taking history at university, I wanted to go into films maybe become a director or producer one day... But my parents had looked at me real funny when I said that, before bursting into laughter so I had laughed too and told them it was all just a joke. My dreams... Always just a joke. I hear the lock on the door scraping forcing me back to reality. I shuffle over to my corner, where it is dark and solitary in a hope that today I won't be beaten. I have been released from my restraints, my whole body aches all the time but it was the burning in my wrists that really took me a while to get over in the first week. At least I'd been seen by a 'doctor' not that he gave a crap I am locked in some damp cellar. My wrists are healing over okay but it's when Raj's men come down to give me food or water. They all just see me as an object and enjoy hitting me every now and then. The only one who's nice is Anderson. I found out his girlfriend is nearly seven months pregnant! He's sweet, sometimes he brings me extra food and he tells me Raj isn't that bad just muddled about who he really is. I have to say, when I looked in Raj's eyes I could a flicker of a light still there, he may think he's all tough but deep down there's still a small part of him which wants a normal life. I hit my back into the wall before sliding down it, pulling my knees to my chest in an attempt to produce a barricade against whoever is coming in. At first I'd close my eyes, but that just made me weaker. Now I leave them open and try my hardest not to let them see I'm in pain. Smiling at them is the best revenge. They want to inflict pain but by smiling through it they see how unbreakable you are.

"Grubs up," the slimy voice of Ajay coats every wall as his feet pound the floor in my direction. I've noticed he never come alone always with his 'friend' Rakesh. If I wasn't stuck in a cellar and they didn't have the power to kill me, I'd call them gay to their faces. But they like to think of themselves as hardmen so it wouldn't be wise to be witty about their personal relations. I stare ahead of me watching as a plate of daal is plonked on the floor spilling over the edges of the bowl onto the floor. Ajay continues to walk towards me a sly grin on his face.

"Shall we have some fun?" He smirks reaching out his hand grabbing at my arm, yanking me from my protective position. His nails dig into my skin and I blink my eyes against the pain. Ajay shoves me against a wall, his breathe hot and sticky against my neck as he traces my skin to my ear.

"You're a fucking turn on," he mumbles pushing himself against me. I close my eyes, right now I don't want to see this. In my head I'm telling myself I'm not here, I'm at home with my parents watching TV... No watching a film and we're all laughing together with popcorn. I'm not here.

"Oh God you make me so hard," he mutters grinding himself against my leg. I can feel his eagerness through his trousers pushing against me. I can put up with anything in this cellar. The punches, slaps, kicks... But I refuse to be raped. My honour is still intact and that's the way it is going to stay.

"Please," I whisper into the darkness. Ajay stops his movements leaning back momentarily as I flutter my eyes open. He stares at me cocking his head to one side and narrowing his droopy eyes. When he smiles he looks drunk, like he always looks like an alcoholic whenever I see him and those small teeth really don't help in the looks department.