change of heart | jumin han x reader

06

"What's with the names?" I ask, feeling calm for the first time in seemingly ages.

"They're named after some of my favorite artists. They were good friends in real life so I thought it was fitting." She seems a little embarrassed by her own explanation, her cheeks and neck fading into a soft red.

"That's cool," I say, looking in her eyes. "It suits them, I think." She smiles and I'm overcome by the urge to kiss her, but I don't.

"So," she sighs, leaning back into the cushion of the seat. "Welcome to my place. I would have cleaned up, but I'm not even sure how you found my address and before you try and explain I don't wanna know." She laughs, a tired look in her eyes.

"Sorry for not telling you, but I was afraid you would say no."

"You're not wrong there," she smiles. "I'm glad you're here though. I was getting antsy."

"I, uhm-" I stutter, taking a second to collect myself. "I'm sorry, for last night. I shouldn't have just stormed away like I did, I just- I felt..." I trail off. Her expression begs me to continue, like she's hanging onto my every word.

"I felt overwhelmed." I breath, scared to continue. "We were just talking about our parents, and- and, I haven't had to talk about my mother in a very long time. I haven't wanted to talk about my mother in a very long time and you brought that out of me, and I just... you've done nothing but throw me off at every turn." I laugh a bit, embarrassed that I've rambled on yet again. She gives me a long, contemplative look, her lips tugged up at the corners just the slightest.

"I'm not sorry." She finally says, the cat in her lap hopping off, the other following.

"You make me feel so at odds with myself," I say, her gaze drawing more unneeded explanation out of me. "You know, I've always had this tangled mess of threads in my head, and no one has ever bothered to try and pull on any of them. You've somehow managed to tug on every single one and it feels like they're untangling, and if I'm honest that terrifies me."

She stares at me with a slightly different expression and I'm scared I've said too much and that she isn't going to understand me as well as I'm so desperate for her to. She gently places her palm against my cheek, pushing my hair behind my ear. I know I'm a blushing mess, my hands shaking in my lap as she traces my jaw with her thumb, letting her hand rest on my collarbone.

"It's okay," her voice is barely above a whisper. "I won't hurt you. You don't have to be afraid of me."

"I know you won't, but (y/n), you're too good to be true. It's too easy to lose you and I'm terrified to give you my heart and have you leave." I chuckle, my own sensitivity sounding corny.

"Jumin, it's okay to be afraid. But you'll never know if you never try, and I'm here telling you I won't hurt you. I'm sorry I left last night; I thought I said too much and I shouldn't have run away like I did. We both messed up."

"And that's okay?"

"Seriously?" She laughs. "You don't mess up at all?"

"Not usually."

"Jesus," she chuckles. "Well get used to it. Love is basically one long string of messing up and learning that it's okay."

"Love?" My voice cracks, her use of the word shooting through my heart.

"Yeah, love," she says in an almost childlike, mocking tone. "Don't be so afraid of it." She stands up and my body moves on it's own accord as I stand as well, wrapping my arms around her waist from behind. I rest my chin on her shoulder, and all the nervousness dissipates as she raises her hand to cup my cheek, looking at me fondly. I smile at her and it isn't forced; her expression changes and she's shifting around in my arms so our bodies are flush, her arms slowing wrapping around my neck and pulling me towards her. Her hand falls to the side of my neck as she places her lips on mine, the sensation soft and warm and electrifying all at once. She pulls away after a long, lingering moment, her cheeks pleasantly flushed as she maintains the closeness between us. I'm drawn to pull her in close again, my arms wrapping around her so nicely while she rests her head on my shoulder, her breath on my neck. I tuck my head into the crook of her neck, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath as I savored her embrace. I begin to pull away but she squeezes me tight, keeping me put.