A rose by any other name still has thorns

Dangerously Daunting, Determined Detainee

The words echo endlessly in my mind, "Dead. Rykes is dead. My fiancé is dead. He's dead. He's dead. He's-"
"Hey, Nikol are you okay?" Ashten asks, looking at me worriedly. She's the only one who knew Rykes and I were together. He had wanted to keep it a secret until we could tell his parents. Oh god- His parents. How could I tell them?
Sterum interrupts my thoughts, "Shit. Rykes. Why him? Hot damn."
Everyone is just as upset as I am. Rykes was everyone's friend. He couldn't make an enemy even if he tried. He was so enthusiatic and optimistic. No one would've ever imagined him dying at 24 during a mission.
No, Rykes was most likely to grow older than dirt and die from willing euthanasia.
Suddenly I'm sitting and the whole group is circled around me. They're blurry and my face is wet. I'm crying, I realise. Sobbing, actually.
Arms wrap around me, the bright green bracelet letting me know it's Ashten. She's hugging me tightly and we're both crying together. Soon, the others are crying too; Sterum trying to hide it, Reese crying almost as loud as I, and Wills silently with the occasional sniff.
The events following are hazy and dreamlike. When Wills finally calls to have Rykes' death reported and his body collected, I almost throw up and again Ashten is there supporting me. Sterum gently asks if I want to accompany Rykes in the transport. Ashten must've told them about me and him being together, because they're all looking at me differently. Then, with no recollection of the ride there, I'm sitting with Rykes' parents, telling them what happened. Again, everyone's crying. My eyes have begun to hurt. Rykes' mother and father hug each other desperately and miserably. His mother makes me promise that whoever caused this will be made to pay. His father nods along, too choked with tears to speak.
Soon the cremation is done, the paperwork officially updated to show his death, and we're leaving with an urn full of his ashes. On the way out, we pass by  the medical wing of the hospital. Laying on a bed is an unconscious teenager with one metal hand resting on top of the pale-yellow hospital blanet.
We order a travel pod and patiently wait the 2.5 minutes it takes for one to arrive. Usually they come quicker, but everything must be slowed down by all the traffic of people heading to work.
No one tries to hold a conversation while the pod briskly shuttles us to the park where everyone else will be meeting us. Rykes had always wanted to be tossed out into the river going straight through the park. We'd argued about it a month or so ago because I wanted us to be put into tree-sacks instead. It was better for the environment, after all.
Now, the argument seems stupid and even dumber is the week of aggressive silence that followed.
A blanket was spread out on the ground and Ashten and Wills were assorting refreshments as if this were just a nice picnic. Everybody's expressions darken slightly when the see the urn I'm carrying. Ashten leaves Wills, kissing their cheek quickly, and meets me halfway to the blanket.
"Hey, Nikol," She awkwardly starts, her eyes working hard to avoid looking at the urn, "Are you holding up okay?"
I nod and try to offer a weak smile. She greets Rykes' parents and walks us over to the blanket.
Sterum is drinking a cup of tea with a slightly peeved expression. He's obviously not a morning person, and the reason for being up so early, although I doubt he slept much anyways, worsened his mood incredibly. Wills asked if I wanted any food or drink, but I refused quietly.
I carried the urn over to the river bank. We all huddled together and over the water's noise, Rykes' father gave some words of peace and lead us in reciting the prayers you're supposed to say when someone dies. Once finished, I carefully opened the urn, and everyone took a handfull of ashes, I still couldn't think of them as Rykes, to toss into the water.
Sterum counted down from three and at one we tossed the ashes, briefly causing a cloud to gather over the water before being drawn into it's rushing depths. Then, we ate an early lunch together at the blanket. Ashten and Wills sat together on the grass so Rykes' parents could sit on the blanket. I sat on the corner, close to Ashten because I didn't exactly want to be alone right then. Sterum sits slightly apart from us all, with his legs curled up and his arms wrapped around his knees.
None of us eat much, so there's plenty of leftovers. Most of it is left with me. Rykes' parents leave first, then Sterum a few minutes later. Ashten and Wills take longer, but even they have to go eventually, so I end up alone within an hour or so. I stay seated, staring at the water. I don't know how I'll be able to go back to the apartment. Rykes and I had bought it together when we were both new recruits to the squadron, fresh from training school. It saved money and we usually got along, so the roommate status remained even after we both were able to move out into better homes. Every molecule of that apartment had Rykes and I embedded in it.
The dishware he had talked me into pooling our money for when we first moved in was still sitting in the sink, waiting for Rykes to get back and wash them because it was his turn. He would never touch a single one of those chipped plates or scratched glasses. Suddenly, I felt as beaten up and broken as every single one of those dirty dishes.
I stood up to leave, staring at the water still, "I'll get revenge for you. I promise."