Never Enough

1

We all know that one friend whose always pushing us to get in the field, to go on dates, get out there and enjoy life. For me that friend is Grace, the beautiful, tall, popular girl who always has boys lining up to take her on a date, despite her always being in a relationship, which may I add usually don't last longer than most boys in bed. I should probably tell you a little about myself before I spill about one of her set ups that went right for me, sort of. I'm Margaret, the girl always stuck in the shadow of others, I'm pretty, I'm not gunna lie, I'm one of the smartest girls at my school, but I've struggled with opening up to others and some self confidence issues for awhile now.

I could start at the begging of my life to tell my story but thats not all that interesting. I'll just start with the summer of 9th grade, the summer before high school, the year I was determined to break out of my quite shell and be the outgoing girl everyone wanted to talk to. As you can guess, it didn't go as planed.

My downhill dating spiral started with a boy named Harry, the gorgeous boy I met at summer camp who had beautiful curly hair and a smile that could make anyone drop anything for.

I was sitting nervously with some of the other counselors in a small room waiting for the kids to arrive. "I can't believe I let Grace talk me into this, I'm stuck her with no friends- no offense- but I just met you, for almost 2 months, and Grace isn't even coming'' I rambled on to the poor girl who sat next to me, with no idea I would unload all my pent-up anger on her. See, Grace had been coming to this camp since she was little, I'd never been, but she convinced me to be a counselor with her. I stupidly agreed, excited to spend the whole summer with my bff, but she unsurprisingly canceled on me at the last minute to go on a trip to England with her boyfriend, leaving me at an unfamiliar camp full of unfamiliar people AND I was in charge of children.

The girl who sat next to me, Molly, actually seemed pretty cool and we had a lot of the same interests which made our conversation more bearable than the typical first convo with someone you've never met.

"So where are you from again", Molly asked kindly.

"Oh, I'm from Virginia", I said.

"Wow thats so cool", Molly said. I think she continued to say something about how her grandparents lived there or something but I definitely couldn't hear what she was saying, I was awestruck; the most attractive boy I had literally ever seen walked into the room, and all I could do was stare.

"Margaret, Margaret, Margarettttt", Molly said while giggling, "I see you've seen Harry" she commented, with a fit of laughs leaving her mouth.

"He's so hot" I confessed to her, while she was nodding like crazy in response as we both tried to suppress our laughter. She suddenly stopped smiling and her eyes grew wide.

"Um, Hi", the gorgeous boy was standing right in front of me, talking to me, I could barely believe it. "I'm Harry" he said with a smile.

"Wow even his smile is perfect", I thought.

"Can I, uh, sit here, all the other seats seem to be taken", he said slowly gesturing to the occupied seats around the room.

"Yeah! sure", I replied way too quickly and enthusiastically. "I mean yes", I said even more awkward than the first time.

The awkward encounter didn't seem to mater to him, though, and as the weeks pasted he became my first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first 'I love you', but he also became my first heartbreak. We were known as the cutest couple the camp had ever seen, spending almost all our free time together. The summer was perfect. We were perfect. He was perfect.

The whole camp was hanging at the beach for the final bonfire of summer, the campers were running around, some were splashing around in the waves. Harry and I were siting next to the fire, cuddled up and avoiding the topic of us having to leave each other.

'I-" I stared

"Theres been-" he spoke softly. We both laughed at our seemingly insync connection, but he quickly stopped,.

'I" he stopped not seeming able to find the right words.

"It's ok, I need to say something too" I whispered

"No, I need to get this off my chest. Theres something I've been meaning to tell you for a while now," he talked softly with his head down, seriousness laced his voice; whatever he was about to say was big.

"Let me go first" I whispered. He slowly nodded.

"Look Harry, I know we just met this summer, but its honestly been the best summer of my life, the best months of my life and I feel honored that I got to spend it with you. You're amazing, you are one the few genuine people in my life." I paused looking for reassurance in his eyes, something to show he felt the same, but I found nothing, just sorrow in his face. I felt a pit form in my stomach but I took a deep breath and continued, "Harry, I love you".

I was staring at him tears threatening to spill down my cheeks, but his was emotionless and his body tensed up as I said to him those three words I'd never said to any one in that way before.

"Margaret, I'm sorry", he finally spoke. His quiet words sending daggers through my heart. "I'm so so sorry", he whispered.

Tears began to fall down my face, I had no control.

"Why" I cooked out, I was barely able to form words. "Am I not enough, did all of this mean nothing to you", I tried to be harsh but fresh tears were still spilling onto my face.

"No" he murmured and walked away, never sharing what he had been unable to say. He walked away from me, away from everyone back to his cabin. I spent the rest of the night crying into Mollys arms telling her how my life was over, unaccustomed to heartbreak. As closing day came in the morning I realized one thing. I hated Harry Styles.