Long-Distance Calls

14

"I think you're nice..." My hands were tied between my legs as I was still staring at the edge of the table. I don't know what was so interesting about that, but I just couldn't look away.

"Thanks," Her cold hand on my leg broke the hypnosis and sent some life back into my eyes.

I looked at her. Her eyes made me feel better. Safer. Warmer. It's like they were staring right into my soul.

I looked at Andrew on the other side of the table. He was staring at me. He looked livid. His eyes made me feel terrible. Anxious. Colder.

Later, when Amber left us for a moment to talk with some girls, Andrew approached me and Josh.

We were walking close without saying a word. I wanted to say something, get to know him, but I was scared.

"Hey," Andrew said, looking at Josh, "I heard Peter here saying you look like an asshole."

Josh stopped. I stopped. We all stopped. Even Erasmus, who was walking ahead of us, stopped.

Josh looked at me, he peered.

I put an hesitant smile on my face and said, "You don't believe that... do you?"

He came closer, still looking at me. I looked everywhere but into his eyes. The smell of his cologne inebriated my senses. It was a really nice one. But I couldn't think of anything nice in that moment.

I looked at Andrew. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

All of the sudden, I felt Josh's hand smacking on the side of my face. It was all so fast, I didn't even notice him raising it.

I kept my smile on, though I could feel my left eye staring to water.

"W-What the fuck," I babbled, still smiling like an idiot.

Josh turned around and walked away. I stopped smiling and looked at Andrew, who, instead, never stopped, while walking towards class.

My eyes then moved on Erasmus, who witnessed the whole scene, but then he also turned around and walked to class.

Why didn't I react? Why didn't I slap him back? Why was I so null and void? Was I really like Andrew said? A loser without any shot at redemption? And why did I keep smiling? What was I even trying to accomplish?

I wanted to meet Josh? Well, there he was. In all his painful glory. Was that supposed to be a nice guy? Why did girls always go for the bad boy? And why did proper nice guys like me get slapped in the face and stabbed in the back?

I just wanted that day to end, go back home, crawl into my bed, and shut my brain.

• — • — • — • — • — • — • — •

"He turned on me! He straight-up turned on me! 'I'll put the whole school against you' he said. And so he did! He made his friend hit me!"

Even tucked inside her sweater, Belle looked like she was shining, like the sunlight never left her hair and summer never left her eyes.

That day, the wind was blowing rather hard, and it was cold. There were very few people at Flushing Meadows Park, which was good. It allowed me to speak without the fear of someone eavesdropping.