My name is Andalucia.
Some people call me Lucia.
Some people call me Andy.
Some people call me Lucie.
Some people call me Loo Loo.
Armadillo calls me Dominique.
He says I remind him of a nun.
Armadillo wears an armor
everywhere he goes.
He even wears it to bed.
He said he got it
when he was a conquistador
with Ponce de Leon.
I told him I died
at Auschwitz Birkenau.
He believed me.
I believed him.
That subject was closed.
We never brought it up again.
I did not tell him about my previous deaths.
They were all monstrous
or tragic or incomprehensible
except for that one time
when I died while making love
to a woman in Josephine Bonaparte’s court
and in a way I will have to put that death
on the inconvenience list.
I have died as a man.
I have died as a woman.
I have died as child.
I have died as a newborn.
I have been a still death.
Armadillo’s name is not really Armadillo.
I call him Armadillo because of the conquistador armor.
His real name may be Harry or Richard or Tom.
I don’t know because he never offered to tell me.
I never asked.
I never ask Armadillo anything.
He never asks me anything either
except for the occasional what’s for dinner?
I once served him picadillo
and we could not stop laughing
right into the next century.
Tonight we will watch tv.
The Streets of San Francisco.
Sanford and Son.
The Jeffersons.
The Carol Burnett Show.
The Mary Tyler Moore Show.
The Dick Van Dyke Show.
The Ed Sullivan Show.
The Andy Griffith Show.
Bridget Loves Bernie.
Love American Style.
Mod Squad.
Mannix.
The Flying Nun.
Nanny and the Professor.
Marcus Welby M.D.
Medical Center.
Welcome Back Kotter.
The Odd Couple.
Flipper.
We always watch reruns.
This is what we understand best.
