I Won't Ever Let You Go

Chapter 13

I woke up the next day around 1 PM  and I numbly got up and went to my room. I changed into a new pair of sweats and a different shirt.
I then went down to the kitchen where Courtney was working on her laptop.
"I didn't mean to sleep so long." I said rubbing my eyes to help myself feel more awake.
"You're exhausted don't worry about it. What do you want for lunch? There is some soup in the fridge or I can cook something for you."
"Soup is fine."
"You want me to make you a grilled cheese?"
"Sure."
I heated up the soup and she made my sandwich then I sat down to eat.
"Is it ok if my parents come and spend the next couple of weeks with us?" She asked setting beside me at the counter.
"Yeah that sounds great."
"Ok I just wanted to make sure that was ok with you."
"Yeah honey that's perfectly fine."
I ate my lunch quietly and then put my dishes away.
"Are you doing ok?" I asked standing behind her and hugging her.
"Yeah, it just feels like she's with a friend and she'll call us sometime saying she's ready to come home." She said sniffling.
"I know, I feel that way too." I said and kissed her on the cheek.
"We have to be at the funeral home by 2:30 to fill out the paperwork." Courtney said as I let go of her.
"Ok." I replied.
I would've stayed and talked with her but I was holding back my tears.
As soon as I got to our room I shut the door and slumped down on the floor. Bringing my knees to my chest as I sat there sobbing like a baby.
My little girl was gone I'll never see her again, well not in this life at least.
I grabbed my phone and pulled up the song "oh my soul" by Casting Crowns.
I cried as I listened to it.
When it was over I started to pray.
"God, I'm not strong enough, I can't take this on my own. Please be with me and help me to be strong for the others, I don't need them worry about me too. Please use this to strengthen my faith and keep me from going under. God please give my family peace and joy during this hard time, just give us your comfort. Please tell my little girl that I love her. Thank you God I love you and I would never be where I am without you. Amen."
Once I had finally calmed down I heard someone crying on the other side of the door.
I stood up and gently knocked on the door.
"Courtney?"
"Yeah." She said sniffling.
"Baby why don't you come in here."
A few seconds later the door opened and she fell into my arms, she shook with every sob.
I didn't say anything, words couldn't fix this, they couldn't make it be any easier. I just let her cry in my arms. I gently rubbed her back until she started to stop crying, but then I cried.
"This is my fault. I should've taken her to the doctor sooner when she first got sick. I knew something was wrong but I never knew it was that bad. I'm so sorry. I let her down and everyone else."
"Luke it's not your fault. The doctors said they didn't even know that this was going to happen. Don't blame yourself there's nothing you did wrong. You took the best care of her, it's far from being your fault."
"I'm sorry Court, I'm so sorry."
"Don't apologize, you did nothing wrong baby. I promise." Her soft and soothing voice calmed me down as she hugged me tight.
I just felt like my world was crashing down. Like part of me was gone now. I don't know if I can do this.

A/N
Two more chapters left! I'll either post them both tomorrow or one tomorrow and one around the 25th or 26th. Hopefully y'all will find them a little more happier!
Please listen to the song above, it's off of the new Casting Crowns album, and I absolutely love it! Let me know what you think!