Blank Love

Chapter 5

- Alice... wha... wron... - I could barely hear him through the pain and the noises of the place. The lack of control over my body was huge and I couldn’t help but moan in pain and agony. The feeling was unbearable.

  Suddenly, I felt wrapped in Avi’a arms and taken to the opposite direction of the turmoil. My head remained low, hidden in hands, but I could feel the noise fading as I was dragged away from it all. We must have gotten into some elevator, because somehow the sounds muffled and I felt the floor going down while the arms of my husband were squeezing me, stifling the apologies I heard coming from his mouth. I found comfort in his chest, the time the doors opened and my body was removed to some corner of the underground parking apparently desert.

  Avi was kissing my hair among afflicted cuddles, stroking my back in an attempt to calm the tremors that still flowed through my body. Gradually I felt my legs take stability again, and head relax, feeling a vibration in his chest, which I discovered soon that was coming from the music he was humming.

  I relented slowly trickling down my hands over the face and corresponding to Avi's hug, running my arms through his waist and accepting the comfort that his body offered me. Fear moved away while I inhaled and exhaled slowly, releasing all the nervousness.

- Are you okay? - Avi lowered his head and told me between my hair. In his frightened eyes, I saw shock, guilt and fear. I got scared for a moment of what our proximity could generate on his head, hoping not to upset him or cause any conflict in his mind. I tried to dispel such thoughts to avail myself of his appreciation. It was extremely cozy.

- I feel better - I whispered, turning my head to his chest and he held me, stroking my arms.

- Forgive me Alice, I completely forgot that crowds still don't make you feel good. I feel stupid for making you go through it - he lamented in frail voice, resting his chin on top of my head. I smiled without he see it.

- Don’t beat yourself up. This could happen at any time. It wasn’t your fault - I raised my head to meet his gaze, and pulled away slightly, still attached to their arms.

- Ready to go home? - He asked and I refused.

- No. I need to face it. Will have to happen sooner or later.

  I could see the denial in her eyes and realized that he would not relent. He shook his head for several seconds, and before start to say something, I touched his face gently and stroked the face covered by his beard .

- Please Avi. I need you. – Did I had puppy eyes? Oh my God.

  I felt the strength dissolve as his eyes were filled with concern and affection. He sighed, pulled my face gently, leaving a kiss on my forehead, and holding me by the left arm, led me back to the elevator.

- If you feel anything again, please let me know, and we'll leave.

  I nodded with a smile and prepared to see the crowd again. Avi 's gaze was on me but I chose not to reciprocate. I needed to focus on what he could keep me in peace.

  I walked calmly between persons still engaged by the bearded’s arm, trying to push away the pain that slowly began to resurface. Occasionally, Avi stroked my head, and slowly the purchases took its shape. It wasn’t easy, but as time passed, it became bearable and finally, the cart was full. We took the opportunity to have lunch in a simple restaurant near there, changing nothing but smiles and a pleasant silence during the meal. He seemed to understand that it wasn’t necessary to revive the fact, once it was already in the past, and it was very important for my personal development.

  On our way home, Avi went through different paths, trying to show me places where we used to visit in an attempt to stimulate my memory. My emotions ranged from admiration for the depth and breadth of LA - it was amazing, a dream city - and the sadness of not being able to remember anything. I forced smiles while listening carefully to the comments he made ​​about each environment. He obviously noticed my frustration, especially when I fled from his gaze to look out the window.

  We carry the purchases that appeared to be sufficient for the next few weeks, and left everything in a corner of the kitchen, making the laziness I felt increasing tenfold every bag that I saw, at the thought of having to put everything in place. Avi can see it, and smiled when he asked:

- Why not leave it there and come see with me the other auditions? I'm sure you'll love it, and I promise to help fix things afterwards - his voice was full of enthusiasm and I couldn’t help but smile when I consented.

  On the couch, he made observations every video we watched. It was amazing the talent that these adolescents had and the passion that each showed when opened lips. I remembered for a moment, the time when I sang still in Brazil. Very religious, the church was the place where I let the voice out for the first time, and I still remember the pleasure it gave me to sing. Happy as it made me, I never wanted to bring forward as a professional, never making any improvement or vocal technique, but adopting singing as a hobby, which made me remember the old guitar reunions with family on several trips we made. How I missed them!

- Too bad I'm too old to sign up - I commented between smiles and Avi corresponded.

- You can still sing to me - he said in a soft voice, turning his face to me with calm and bringing a smile on his face. His eyes were full of longing, and I wondered how many times we sing together. In fact, it filled me with pride, because I knew he was an amazing singer and songwriter. I couldn’t help but blush, yet without departing from his look and smiling back, when he cleared his throat, trying to break the unease in the air -. Moreover, you are not old at all! If you feel old, I have no idea of what I am!

- Well, I'm at least five years older than I used to remember - I made a joke and we laughed, enjoying the pleasant company of each other until the end of the night.

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Hey guys! How are you ?

Well, before anything I wanted to thank you for reading and liking the story. I swear I'm doing everything possible to make it be nice to me and everyone, writing something I wouldn’t bother to read too. I hope you are enjoying it.

If you don’t mind, I wanted to ask for feedback from you :S the story is being originally written in Portuguese and then translated, so I get a little insecure about the way its taking shape and would love for someone to comment or tell me by inbox to do some improve. Rate the writing is very important to me because I'm blind here!

I wanted to explain that I translate the story on google translater to make it quick, but unfortunately the language is not 100% compatible. After translating paragraph by paragraph, I need to go back repairing the 200 million meaningless phrases the translator generated, and this is where my insecurity come from, to apply my English - which is very basic - in the middle of the narrative to make sense to it. Besides, this is the first time I ever wrote something.

I hope that somehow the story of Alice and Avi is still interesting for you. Please give me ideas and tips!

Gratefully,

Kiane.

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