The Dolls- Short Story

I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a friend until last year, when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him. Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him. And soon, we became a pair of lovers. But we loved each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only but by his side, there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one. But to him, maybe I was just another girl…

“ Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?” I asked.

“ I cant”

“ why? You need to study at home?”

I felt disappointment grabbing me.

“No. im going to meet a friend.”

He was always like that. He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word “love” only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say ‘I love you’ before. To us, there were no anniversaries at all. He didn’t say anything from the first day and it continued till…100days…200days…everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I don’t know why. Then one day…

Me: um, Jin, i…

Jin: what… don’t drag, just say…

Me: I love you

Jin: …you… um, just take this doll and go home.

That was how he ignored my three words and handed me the doll. Then he disappeared like he was running away. The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one. There were many. Then one day came my 15th birthday. When I got up in the morning. I pictured a party with him and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call. But, lunch passed, dinner passed and soon the sky was dark. He still didn’t call. It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore. Den around 2 in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me up from my sleep. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.

Me: Jin..

Jin: Here.. take this..

Again, he handed me a little doll.

Me: What’s this?

Jin: I didn’t give it to you yesterday so I am giving it to you. Now, im going home.

Me: wait! Wait! Do you know what today is?

Jin: today? Huh?

I felt sad. I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing had happened. Then I shouted..

“wait!”

Jin: you have something to say?

Me: tell me, tell me you love me..

Jin: what?!?

Me: tell me…

I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left.

“ I don’t want to say… that I love someone so easily. If you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else”

That was what he said. Then he ran off. My legs felt numb and I collapsed to the ground. He didn’t want to say it easily. How could he.. I felt that maybe he is not the right guy for me. After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He didn’t call me, although I was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That’s how those dolls piled up in my room… everyday. After a month, I got myself together and went to school. But what made the pain resurface was that I saw him on a street w/ another girl. He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me.. as he touched the doll.. I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room and tears fell. Why did he give this to me? Those dolls were probably picked out by some other girls. In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around. Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him. He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him… that… it’s going to end. Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.

Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed. You really came?

I couldn’t help hating him, acting like nothing happened and joking around. Soon, he held out the doll as usual…

Me: I don’t need it.

Jin: what… why…

I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.

Me: I don’t need this doll. I don’t need it anymore! I don’t want to see a person like you again!!

I spilled out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking.

“im sorry”

he apologized in a tiny voice. Then he walked over to the road to pick up the doll..

Me: you stupid! why are you picking up the doll? Just throw it away!

But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll.. then…

Honk~ honk~

With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.

“Jin! Move! Move away!” I shouted..

but he didn’t hear me. He squatted down and picked up the doll.

“Jin! Move!”

honk~!!!

“boom!”

that sound… so terrifying..

That’s how he went away from me. That’s how he went w/o even opening his eyes to say one word to me. After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him. And after spending 2 months like a crazy person… I took out the dolls… those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out. I remembered the days I spent w/ him and started counting the days when we were in love…

“one… two…three”

that was how I started counting the dolls…

“four hundred and eighty four.. four hundred and eighty five…”

it all ended w/ 485 dolls. I started to cry again, with a doll in my arms. I hugged it tightly.. then suddenly…

“I love you~ I love you~”

I dropped the dolls, shocked.

“I…lo…ve…you??”

it cant be!

I pressed all the dolls’ stomach as it piled on the side.

“ I love you~”

“ I love you~”

“ I love you~”

those words came out nonstop..

i…love…you

why didn’t I realize that… that his heart was always by my side, protecting me. Why didn’t I realize that he loved me this much… I took out the doll under the bed and pressed its stomach. That was the last doll, the one that fell on the road. It had its blood stain on it. The voice came out… the one that I was missing so much…

“ Jo… do you know what today is? We’ve been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn’t say I love you… um… since I was too shy… if you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you… everyday… till I die… Jo… I love you…”

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A/N: Nakita ko po sa facebook, answeet kaya nilagay ko po dito. I do not OWN it okay? natuwa lag po ako i-repost!!