introduction
"we offer words of encouragement and motivational quotes, imagining that nothing is too hard for a person.
we say things like they're supposed to be easy. you don't get to tell me "don't let it break you."
you don't get to imagine that i can get through the worst of it all. if you experience half of the darkness i've been enveloped in, your words will change.
i've been "strong" for way too long.
i've kept my shattered pieces together because I don't want you to get cut on these shards.
i've smiled, laughed, and faked happiness.
i've tried to help when I'm the one who needs help.
i've been deemed needy because I reached out.
i've been called fake because I tried for once to put myself first.
i've been told no one would love me until I love and fix myself.
i've been directly called a waste because I couldn't live up to expectations.
i may have nothing to offer, but I dare you to let me love you.
can you see my broken spirit? Can you see the things I hide inside?
i dare you to look truly and remain the same.
i learned to cope with words.
the things i cannot say or express, i write.
i live inside my head because that's the only place I haven't been rejected from yet.
my mind and body will soon be ripped apart and my entity will slowly fade away.
you know nothing, yet you have everything.
your insatiability cripples me...(sometimes words betray me, nothing can express the raw emotions I feel in this moment, hence, the triple dots)
go ahead and tell me to "be strong." i dare you to feel my pain and repeat those words to me."
𝝮
tbh, this was something i wrote for a friend, but i made one of my journal entries. yes, i write a journal, but not the usual kind.
i started college this fall and it's been really hard - and it doesn't help that i'm an international student here who doesn't know his way around - so i started writing what i felt as a coping mechanism.
anyway, i'll be posting some of the entries that i want to share with y'all (because i have no one else to share them with lol). so updates would be frequent, but sporadic.
and if you're someone who has been following me for a while, i haven't given up writing, there just hasn't been enough time (or i don't know how to prioritize either one). i will get back to writing fiction and whatnot.
𝝮
also, it should be noted that the title doesn't imply that every piece will bleak, like i said, i write what i feel, so the tone of each piece will definitely change as i go.
there will also be some triggering and sensitive content, but i'll post a warning on any entry that may be sensitive.
thank you and i hope you somehow enjoy these pieces.
