Reality

Reality hurts

Its been four years since he start developed feelings towards the younger, and it was that long as well he have been hiding this fact. this mainly because heck he'll probably ruined their perfect friendship and he doesnt like being awkward while working and korean isnt the most accepting country for homosexual especially coming from and idol (but he knows there are many fans out there who ship him with the youngers but that is beside the point) and the final reason was because kim fucking Jongin was straight as a glass rod. How did he know this?

"Can you believe it soo hyung? chanyeol abd baekhyun are dating each other? Im not homophobic or anythimg but i cant imagine myself dating any of our own members. that just like dating your own sibling dont you think?"

That statement cut kyungsoo really deep. He manage to nod agreeing to the younger statement since a big lump is growing inside his throat and no words was able to come out. Jongin just sibling-zone him and that is worse than just friendzone. The whole week after that kyungsoo cant help but to sigh everytime he saw the younger.

When the younger start pouring his heart out over soo jung aka the love of his lives..Kyungsoo being a good older brother he is ,never ignore or stop care for the younger with supportive words and brotherly gesture. It was hard..and painful for him to keep smiling and reassure the younger that it was okay to keep pursuing his love.. But seeing the smile and happiness radiates from the younger was enough for him to keep moving on with his life.
or so he thoughts.

"soo hyung! did you read the article! Im so happy the company actually allow us to date publicly!"

Kyungsoo smile while giving a short hug to the latter. No words can express how he actually felt at the moment. That was the first time he felt the reality hit him hard in every way possible.

It not that new to kyungsoo about how the younger one is family oriented man. Not only having good looks, heights, sun-kissed skin, and dancing skills that could charm anyone, Jongin was a perfect husband material that a thought of having a family had cross his mind on how wonderful would Jongin be as his. But of fourse he would have to bury these thoughts.

"hyung, looks at Rahee.. shes the cutest isnt she? she also like to dance! I cant wait to have ny own child hyung! A boy and a girl"

Kyungsoo cant let this out of his mind. Rahee was Jongin niece that he adores very much. Just listening to the younger talking about it one can tell how loving jongin is towards kids. And this really upset kyungsoo because he know, he wont ever be able to give this kind of happiness to Jongin even if they ever end up together. Reality do hurt him a lot.

"Soo Hyung, you never mention anything about a crush or anyone you like, dont you have one?"

The question caught him offguard but being an actor, kyungsoo manage to pull himself together and reply that he's too busy to waste his time one that. Jongin was quite taken aback with the answer and Kyungsoo felt guilty but he couldnt said what he really feel out loud and he know he probably never will said it until the day he dies.

Movies and drama offers keep om coming and Kyungsoo was more than happy to accept them. It was the inly thing that he can do to cope up with the lives his living now. With Jongin and soojung relationship keep going on strong and full of supports, kyungsoo have his heart tears up in daily basis. Only with huge amount of stress and full schedule he managed to keep himself up to this point. A thought kept crosses his mind that maybe just seeing the happiness from the younger

wasnt enough, he still hope that one day Jongin will be his but he knows that its a dream far from reality. Reality that hurts.

This is my first time writing a boyxboy fanfic.. and the first time i wrote since several years back. So i apologize for the grammar error and stuff. Hope its not that bad and i really like angsty ^^'