Mean Spirits ⋆ Sirius Black

― ii. "INTRO TO THE BADLANDS"

     "Ripper needed exercise!" she said. "And, it's got to be an okay thing to do, because I bought his lead from a shop, so obviously enough people walk rabbits for there to be a market. A bit of a niche market, but still a market."

     "Also — Ripper? The rabbit?"

     "It's short for Jack the Ripper," said Em. "But he also answers to Prince Albert."

     Sirius raised an eyebrow. "It obviously wasn't Prince Albert," he said. "I'm pretty sure they've got evidence that he was somewhere else during the murders."

     "Or was that the royal family cleaning up after themselves?" asked Em. "I mean, Queen Victoria probably didn't want the public to know her grandson was a serial killer..." She shook her head, and smiled softly. "Yeah, I don't know, but he's the only suspect I easily remember, so I can only use him for the joke."

     Sirius smiled at her. "I sometimes forget you're a Hufflepuff, and then you say something and I think, how could I have forgotten the obvious?"

     Em scowled. Sirius laughed.

     Holding onto her cup of tea, she said, "So, I was planning to screw with my family a little bit for the rest of the holidays, and then forge letters so they think it's Dumbledore telling them that I'm getting tons of detentions, and all of the things I'm doing but not actually but actually to them are all of the things that they've blamed me for doing. At least what I can remember. And it'll be Dumbledore and not Sprout, because that gives it an extra oh shit factor, you know?"

     "Also," she said, not noticing his attempts to hide him smirk, "I've been able to start the process by wearing all of my cool badass clothes, because although I always wear them at school, I always try not to wear them at home because the nice sunflower dresses were the only thing saving me sometimes when they blamed me for stuff. But now — oh, hell no, I've worn my cool leather jacket twice since the almost wedding. And I looked great."

     "I just—" Sirius grinned. "You know, I love the idea — again, Salvatore, I'm becoming more attracted to you by the minute — but you somehow manage to make everything so Hufflepuff."

     "It's a gift," she said, deadpan.

     "So, you poison their food or something," said Sirius. Em's eyes widened. "I'm kidding. That's the last stage, eh?" She blinked. "I'm only joking, Salvatore. But, you could always just mess with them like a muggle would, yeah? Like, swapping shampoo for hair dye, and stuff."

     "Oh, no, Mona would kill me if that happened," said Em, shaking her head. She froze. She looked up at Sirius, and she smiled brightly. "I'll do it!"

     "Believe me, after years of knowing Snivellus, I know exactly how piss people off," said Sirius. He looked incredibly proud of himself, until he saw the frown on her face. "Oh, come off it. He's a dick! You know what he called Evans?"

     "I'm not saying that he's nice — believe me, that would be as big a lie as Chandler saying I ruined Mona's wedding," said Em. "But, I don't think you should be as bad as he is."

     "But it's the right thing to do! I'm only doing what should happen."

     "But—" In that moment, she gave up. She sighed. "Whatever. I don't like it." Sirius frowned at her, and she grinned back. "Has anyone ever told you that you're as stubborn as a Gryffindor?"

     "You know, that would be a first."

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