First Comes Like #Wattys2020

34

Lip gloss. 

Strawberry. 

I take it through the car window. "It'll make him fall in love with you." She says.

I laugh and thank her. I was pathetic, putting my faith in a lip gloss made by a nine year old. But even though Dean had technically already admitted it he liked me, I take the gloss, just to be sure.

"He's good." My dad says, after a moment of silent driving.

"What?" I say, a little confused.

"The Pinkette boy." My dad says, "He's good. Not so much like his father."

I laugh. "Yes, I know."

"So why didn't you go with him? Isn't he your date?" My dad wants to know.

"He's not my date, Dad. Not exactly. Technically, no one knows who their dates are."

"Huh?" 

I laugh again, "It's pretty complicated. I'll explain tomorrow." 

Right now, I feel too jittery to talk. By the time we get to the school, I feel sick to my stomach. I haven't been this nervous since the time I accidentally cut off one of 5-year-old Nina's braids and I was praying my mom wouldn't notice. 

I sigh and my breath fogs up a little part of the car window, as I open it to get out. I wave goodbye to my dad and pretend to fix my shoes. But as soon as he's gone I just stand there staring at our ugly banner, listening to the muffled sound of music from the auditorium. People pass me, laughing, talking, excited for the night. Everyone looks beautiful all dressed up. But I can't focus, I'm so nervous.

Max Fisher (who thought it was cool to wear his shirt open) looks me up and down as he passes and smiles. "How to walk for dummies." He says, "Put one foot in front of the other. Repeat."

I don't even bother to roll my eyes.

'Dean likes me.' I tell myself in my head,. 'I like him.'  What's the worst that could happen? But my brain just can't accept it and I eventually give up and walk through the decorated school doors. One foot in front of the other.

There was no telling what the night held.

If I perish, I perish.

***

The auditorium is a sea of colors. Bright reds, dusty pinks, pure whites and shimmery silvers. It looks nothing like the old void it was before. It's packed and loud and wonderful. Dimmed fairy lights hang low across the floor and look like stars. There are cute little tables and chairs set in the four corners for people who want to sit, but most of the space is cleared out for dancers. And there are a lot of them.