Caged Birds ✔️

Chapter Thirty-One

"Is anyone giving you a hard time?" Henry asks me seriously.

"No, it's just" I start slowly while letting Gabe go, "I don't feel like I'm supposed to be here"

"Sam, you have every right to be here and don't let anyone tell you any differently" Carol firms her gaze.

I nod slowly, as arguing about it with them won't do me any good. Saying my thoughts out loud won't change the truth — that no one wants me here.

When I enter the ladies room, the first time I do is see the horrible bitch that everyone has been talking about all night. She stands in the mirror, wearing that bridesmaid dress and a look of concern. I take a few steps towards the mirror, so the woman and I stand nose-to-nose. Her eyes were haunted with the fucked up memories of her past.

I read the woman's exact thoughts — after all, her thoughts are my own right? She's wondering if other people's lives are stuck studying the past wondering if it will repeat and become their future. But how does a person forget being on the receiving end of their fathers belt? Are you supposed to forget being beaten so bad by your own father that you lie to the nurses at the hospital because you're so afraid of what he'll do?

Instead of those memories, I chose to remember Matt. His love and his warmth and his anger and rage. I remember everything that I felt when I was in love with him and how I messed everything up in order to free myself.

I don't know what makes me feel worse — knowing that I broke a good man, turning him into the ghost of the person that I used to love — or having no regrets whatsoever.

Once I began walking out of the ladies room, I felt as if I was walking into a war zone, every corner there was somebody that I was trying to avoid. I saw Matt just looking at me as he stood near the bar with an expression that I was familiar with, it was hatred. I couldn't be there any longer, I thought that I could do this but I was wrong.

My face heats up quickly and my legs begin to tremble. I swing my body towards the exit which is I find Bobby walking quickly in my direction.

"I need to talk to you" he commands.

"About what?" My eyes are wide and my voice is shaky.

"You know what about!" Bobby snaps, "I thought—

"You promised me that you wouldn't do this here" I lower my voice, firming my gaze at him.

When he begged me to let him work at Anna's wedding, we had one simple deal — not to talk about us until we got home.

"We can't just not talk about this" Bobby shakes his head.

My eyes widen in anger, "this isn't the right place or time, you know that"

"We need to talk about us" he argues, "I need to know where we stand! I can't think about anything else—"

"I'm not doing this here" I refuse before storming out the venue.

Bobby was once an immature kid, still in college, bartending for extra money. Now he's another one of my broken toys that I used to play with and now have left on the ground to rot. I don't recognise the man he has become and I have this deep feeling in my bones that I ruined him — just like I ruin everything I touch.

When I make it outside, I drop down to the grey smooth steps, running my fingers roughly through my hair. I couldn't hold back my tears any longer. Quiet thumbs in the distance grow louder, forcing me to snap my head in the man's direction, where I find Matt behind me.

"What? What do you want now? You want your Range Rover back?" I cry, jumping up from the steps to face him. I pull out an envelope. "Here's your god damn Range Rover!" I pushed the envelope against his chest. "Now will you please stop using this against me because we both know that that's all you got on me"

I've had his Range Rover since the last time I saw him. The money I got plus the thirty grand that was in there, I had put in an envelope and set it aside for the day that we would see one another again.

"Sam" Matt sighs, holding the envelope in his hand, "it was never about the money, It was about how you had the nerve to leave me in the middle of the night, taking my car without a second thought, without any hesitation"

I soften my gaze. Matt seems weak, as though he was too tired to deal with any more of my shit.

"You mean like how you didn't hesitate to cheat on me with Demi? Or screwing my little sister, the night Diana died" I retort, "what about when you came to my workplace and started bad mouthing me to my face and in front of my friends and co-workers? Did you hesitate then?"

"Sam—" Matt looks into my eyes deeply, the bright moon and the stars shining above our heads, contrasting against the dark sky.

"Stop acting like the victim here" I beg, "this was eight years ago damn it! Stop using things that I did to get myself out of a fucked situation, against me"

"Do you remember the night?" He asks slowly with a smile upon his lips.

"What?" I blink in surprise.

"Do you remember the night we stole that Ferrari? We drove around all night making stops all over town" he reminisces, "our final stop was at that lake where we went skinny dipping and when we were down there, I proposed to you...that was the night that we made that pact...we were going to run away in August and get married"

"We never got in trouble for stealing that car did we?" I remember.

"Probably because we were never caught" he reminds me, "We abandoned the car just outside of town and the owner found it the next morning without any damage...I was gonna marry you"

"I know" I nod.

"Than why did you leave?"

"To get away from my family...not everybody has parents that love them and would do anything for them" My eyes well up with tears, "my dad would lock us up like birds and if we tried to escape, he would...." I drop my eyes to my heels before shooting them back up at Matt. "So, you keep on being angry and telling people that I'm a bitch straight from hell but I got reasons for doing what I did. I had to bend the bars of that fucking cage he put me in and get the fuck out of there before he had the chance to put me back in"

There's a moment of silence as Matt and I look at each other with regret and sadness.

"I'm sorry that things ended the way they did," he says.

"Me too" I nod.