The Marauders: Year Five #Wattys2017

P.A.H.W.F.A.H.W.W.N.D.J.P.

"Yer wha'?" Hagrid asked, Sirius's voice having been drowned out by the second warning whistle shrieking out over the platform.

And as though in reply, there came a shout, "WAAAIT FOR ME! WAIT FOR ME! I'M COMING!! I'M CO-OOOOO-MIIIIIIIIING!"

Sirius grinned. "Nevermind, Hagrid."

And over the crest of the steps leading up to the platform came Remus Lupin, clutching a couple papers in his fist, his robes flapping about his ankles, his book bag slamming against his hip... He barrelled across the platform, breathlessly, leaping aboard the Express as the third, and final, warning whistle blew, echoing over the trees shrilly. Sirius backed into the car and grabbed hold on Remus's wrist, yanking him in and aboard, just as the doors closed. They stood facing each other in the very small space and Sirius grinned, then kissed Remus's nose. "Bleedin' hell, nearly left for holiday without you, Moonykins. Would've been a right terrible holiday."

"You'd have got over it, I reckon, Padfoot," Remus answered, panting, and kissing Sirius back, tall enough that, even being on a lower step he could still reach Sirius's nose as well. "You're rather resilient like that. And you'd have your Prongs."

"No, I wouldn't really, it would've been absolutely horrid. Prongs - also known as Rudolph this season - is not the same as my Moony! By any means. For one, Prongs is not going to bugger me under the mistletoe." He looked at Remus with what he thought might be seductive eyes but were actually sort of wonky eyes.

"Wait. You mean I'm not sharing you with Prongs? All this time, I thought we were taking it in turn to be your boyfriend." Remus tugged himself up into the corridor 'round Sirius with a smirking grin.

"BOTH of you be my boyfriend? Bloody hell, Moonpie. I'd never... not with Prongsie... you're mental! As though I share this shrine of a body with someone with as teribble hair as bloody Prongsie's got? Merlin's beard! I have standards, you know!" Sirius looked appalled and trailed after him at a trot. "I promise you, Moon-Moon, Christmas would be terrible without you, my love..."

Remus grinned. "You wouldn't even miss me if I wasn't there."

"No I would! It would be awful! Positively terrible," Sirius argued. Then he smirked and he started singing. "I'd haaaave a bluuuuuuue Christmas... withouuuut you... I'd be so bluuuuuuuuue just thinking... a-a-aa-bouuuut you..."

"Oh deer," muttered Remus, flushing as people in compartments looked out at Sirius and Remus as they passed, Sirius's voice warbling along behind him.

"Deeeeeeeeeecor-REY-tions of reeeeeeed on a guhh-uhh-rreeeeen Christmas treeee... They wouldn't be the same Moony -- if youuuu weren't there with meeeeeeee..."

"You're absolutely terrible singer," laughed Remus, but he was lying because Sirius was actually rather good and Sirius's eyes glittered 'cos he knew it and he laughed and grabbed Remus's hand and squeezed and they ran along to the corridor, where Peter was waiting and sank into their usual spots.

"Well look who decided to join us at last," Peter said sourly. "You know, I had to ride all the way from the castle with Barty Crouch and Germaine Avery? It was horrid."

Sirius looked concerned, "Crouch is hanging around with Avery and them now, too? Bloody hell. That little git's my brother's best mate." He sighed and shook his head.

Remus looked around at them. "Either of you gonna ask me where I was just now?"

Sirius looked at Remus, "With your second boyfriend? Who is it? Is it Frank Longbottom?"

"Second boyfriend?" Peter looked confused.

"Yes, Peter, Moony thinks I've been double-timing with Prongs. Can you believe it?"

"You mean you haven't?" joked Peter, smirking.

Sirius looked offended, "Well I see how it is. You lot are just mean. I'm telling my Prongs on you." Remus smirked as Peter snickered and Remus elbowed Sirius and Sirius announced, "That's it, I'm going to start a club with Evans - People At Hogwarts With Fucking Amazing Hair Who Would Never Date James Potter - P.A.H.W.F.A.H.W.W.N.D.J.P. for short --"

"That's for short?" asked Remus, snorting.

"-- and we'll be insanely fabulous," Sirius finished.

Remus said, "I thought Prongs got himself kissed?"

Sirius said, "No the blighter was offered a kiss and refused it, like a bleedin' muppet."

"Do muppets bleed?" Peter asked.

"Yes. Cotton. Cotton everywhere. It looks like a bloody cotton ball factory just -- BOOOOM," and Sirius waved his palms (jazz hands style) about to indicate the explosive action of the cotton ball factory, slash untellable muppet bloodshed.

Remus watched Sirius and when he was quite finished with his special effects, he said, "So Newt Scamander's adopted a werewolf cub."

Sirius and Peter both turned to look at Remus with wide eyes. "Excuse me?" Peter asked. "Why?"

Sirius shot him a look, "Because they're fluffy little buggers, aren't they?" His voice was sharp.

Peter turned red and shuffled to the end of his compartment bench that was furthest from Sirius.

Remus said, "Well him and Tina were off exploring and they found him. That's what happened to Tina. She was attacked by a full grown werewolf -" he carefully left out the fact that it had been Professor Veigler that had attacked her, only because he felt if it was him that had done, he would've appreciated that fact being left out of non-essential recounts of the story, "- and they found a little boy who'd been bit and his name's Bradley. He's five. Newt's asked me to talk to him before the next moon, so he's prepared for it." He looked at Sirius. "I thought you might help me."

"Me?" Sirius demanded.

"Yeah. You said once that was the sort of thing you'd like to do - after Hogwarts, I mean. I thought perhaps you'd like a crack at it."

Sirius stared at Remus. "I can't believe you remembered that."

"Of course I do," Remus answered, "I remember everything, mate."

Sirius smiled.

"So - so there's more. I was talking to Newt and it turns out he - he helped take care of me when I was a pup. My dad called Newt Scamander to come and help after Greyback bit me and... he had all these sketches of what I looked like then... and... he's the reason I'm here, at Hogwarts. All this time, I thought it was Dumbledore that was looking out for me, and, yeah, it was, but - but it was Newt Scamander, too. All this time."

Sirius smiled, "Bloody knew I liked that bloke for a turn." He paused. "How's Tina?"

"Better."

"Good."

"And they saved nearly forty children Greyback's stolen from their families! Imagine that?" Remus beamed, "Bloody heroes, they are." He was beaming with pride, and he turned the parchment pages that Newt had given him around so that they could see - drawings from the journal. "Look."

Sirius sat up, "Ferfucksake look at that - a baby Moony!"

Peter blinked at the pictures, "That's you?"

"Yeah, Newt drew them of me."

"I fucking want you."

They both looked at Sirius.

"I mean as a pet," Sirius tried to amend. Then, "Okay there is no way for me to fix what I've said so it sounds less creepy so let's just let it go. Alright?"

All three boys laughed and Remus tucked the pictures into his books carefully.

"So wait - Lily Evans likes James?" Peter asked suddenly, looking up.

"Apparently so," Sirius said. "Will be interesting to see how long it lasts before he fucks it up, 'ey?"