Half Loved (On Hold)

Half Loved ~ Chap 26: Turbulent Tides

If I hadn’t had Jace’s offhand face committed to memory, then I wouldn’t have had noticed the torn look in his eyes. It was sad seeing him look so out of his comfort zone so that finally granted me the ability to speak again. I sighed.

“No, I’m not mad at you.” I said with a weak smile. “I don’t think I ever will be.”

“But what about Liam? Or Tyler? Or Sasha?”

“What about them?” I asked, clearly confused why their names were popping up.

“I thought you were interested in either one of them?”

“What?!?” I gasped so loud, I choked on my words. He swerved a bit before regaining his control on the wheel. Oops. I coughed and tried to regain my breath. “Why would I be interested in them? They’re my friends!”

“Well, I saw you with Sasha and Liam at Tyler’s party. And I saw you again with Liam on your Gramps’ birthday. You were with Tyler too. I thought maybe you were with them or something. Besides, I may not look like it, but I’m pretty updated at the gossip in school—one of the perks of being unnoticeable. I know things about you and those guys.”

“Oh crap. You do have a point.” I said, nervously biting my nail. “Well, in my defense though, I only kissed all of them cause of Truth or Dare, or some other silly game. Liam just kisses me cause he’s a flirt like that. And Tyler’s just… well, I don’t know, we were pretty tipsy that one time, and he’s always been the vulgar mouthed one, so it wasn’t that unexpected of him...” I thought considerably. “As for Sasha, well, she’s one pretty adventurous girl. Our video can tell you that.”

“I see.” He said. “Since that’s not the case, I hope you try to forget the way I acted. It was unacceptable. I acted on impulse without even considering your thoughts about it. I’d understand if you cut off your ties from me now. I’d rather you would.”

“Whoa.” I paused, putting a hand up. “What are you even saying? First, you chivalrously defend me in front of all of those people while probably risking your reputation, and you expect me to be an ungrateful twat and just cut off ties from you cause my opinions weren’t considered? C’mon Jace, give me some credit here!” I exhaled in exasperation.

“I never meant it that way.”

“I know…” I sighed. “It’s just that, you gotta stop thinking so low of yourself when you’re doing, and being the exact opposite okay? You should give yourself some credit! You were only thinking of me and so what if kissing me to prove that point to them was what you came up with? You were being selfless and you shouldn’t torture yourself for being such a good person. Don’t do this Jace. Don’t push me away. I may be a small, and I may not seem much, but I won’t let you do this cause I’m your friend and that’s what friends do. They stick together. You stuck with me, so I’m staying with you whether you like it or not.” I said in one breathing.

I can’t believe I just said all of that to Jace McLunder. That was pretty reckless and probably leaning towards the begging-to-get-beat-up side of things, but I don’t care. I meant it, and he should realize it too. From the looks of his dumbfounded expression, I’m pretty sure he was just as surprised as I am.

“Carter I…” he said, at a loss for words.

“You don’t have to say anything to that. Just, at least reflect on it okay?”

“Alright.” He said, an unreadable expression on his face. We breathed for a while and I used the cute old houses to calm me down from my random outburst. “So what are we gonna do about, you know… us?” he asked, whispering ‘us’.