Rejected! And I'm the alphas daughter ( on hold )

The New Alpha

"Only because your alpha made Jack and me come down. we were so excited to come and see you. we hoped you would come home."

"This is my home zach." i told him

"I just want to be a part of your life jade. i need to be."

" Im a monstar zach. you dont know what ive turned into. im not the same girl you used to know, ive changed and i cant change back."

Zach remained silent at my words. we just sat there watching the calm water. i could see some fish coming up to ketch bugs that huvered to close to the water.

"i would except you no matter what jade. i want to be with you friends or more. i just want to be in your life again." he said.

 we sat in silence for a half and hour befor I felt a prickling at my mind. some one was trying to comunicate with me. i dropped the walls in my mind and lessoned in for who was trying to speak to me. Jade. My alpha came through. I need you to come back to the pack house right away. I put my walls back up in my mind.

"Is every thing ok?" Zach was looking at me with a worried expression. "your eyes sort of glazed over."

"My alpha is calling us home. we must leave for the pack house right away." i stood up and he fallowed. i picked up my saddle blanket and walked over to resaddle torque. i pulled myself on his back and looked over at zach who was already in the saddle waiting for me to lead him back. we started our way back towards the pack house.

"why are you being so nice to me jade?" he asked " after every thing i did to you i didnt think you would be this open with me. you were so prickly yesterday."

"You suprised me. I wasnt expecting you to be there. i had a hangover and look up to see you at the breakfast table buddy buddy with my crew pissed me off. " i told him. " it also helped talking to the alpha. i was mad but what he said was true. i cant keep mad for every."

"Im glad your not mad at me any more."

"Im not mad any more Zach but the hurt doesnt go away. It stayed with me it made me who i became. The good, bad and the ugly." again i stole a glace towards him. He wouldnt understand the monster inside of me till he saw it. i tryed to tell the alpha several times i thought something was wrong with me and he didnt believe me he said it was in my head. He didnt believe me till he saw it for himself. The rage that sets me apart from others. the reason the pack is scaried of me. I knew something was wrong when i could feel zach so upset about me leaving and i would black out and come to covered in blood. The first time it happened i throw up for an hour, large chunks of what looked like raw meat came up. later on that day i found out one of our cows had been butchered. Alpha thought it was rogues at that time, i couldnt tell him i thought it was me he would think i was crazy. i didnt remember anything. There was a large black hole in my memore bank were that night should have been. It would happen every time the blood rage would take over. Then rogues broke into the house about a year ago and i felt the rage take me when one tryed to pin me down and rape me. The pack saw then the monster i was. i was told later i had attacked the pack not knowing who they were. they had to shoot me with a trank gun seven times before i stopped coming after them. Alpha said he had never seen anything like it before. My eyes held nothing left of there person i was. I glanced at zach again to chicken to tell him about the monster i was. i couldnt handle him rejecting me again. it was a weak move on my part and i hated myself for it. i wasnt weak but i just couldnt tell him about the monster inside of me. I wanted a mate even though i was still hurt by what happened two and half years ago but it was a long time ago and zach had changed a lot from that day. we all had. I rode torque to the barn and but him in his pen. I unsaddled him and gave him an apple for his good behavor. I watch zach unsaddle fern and walk over to place his saddle back on the pegs.