I'm not good at naming things

Chapter 5

I keep figuring out things that I can go without thanks to my "powers". People think anorexic because they never see me eat. Mainly because I don't need to eat nearly as much as they do. I know the truth about what's going on and when I see the doctor they say I'm fine. Of course they don't know anything because then I would just become a lab rat. I refuse to become a lab rat. 

Anyways since I don't need a lot of sleep that gives me plenty of time to process everything that had happened in the past day.  I also realized that I needed to take care of a few things soon but it was going to wait until I woke up since I always woke up before Ayano anyways. I was actually starting to get tired. Eventually I woke up and remembered everything that happened.

I checked my phone and saw that I had a text from Xander saying good morning and wondering if I could hang sometime. Before I sent anything back I was going to think about it. So I took a shower and then I went downstairs and made breakfast. That always wakes Ayano up in the morning. I don't know why because she doesn't eat much either but it does so that's how I get her up in the morning.

When she came into the kitchen she asked where I went last night because she woke up and noticed that I was gone. I told her I went for a run in the woods out back. I told her about the guy and she said tat she remembered him from school and he isn't normally a creep like that. Usually he's a really polite guy. I asked her then if she would be okay with me going and hanging out with him. She said she was as long as she could kinda keep an eye because of the way he was stalking me before. 

I told her we could go into town instead of the woods. This way she could blend in with the crowd. That would be easier because town is usually crowded and it's easy to blend in with everyone plus she could still easily keep her eye on him to make sure he wasn't going to try anything. We decided that I would tell him 7 in downtown. By the giant clock so that way he knew where since I wasn't going to let him come pick me up just to hang out. 

That would make it seem like a date and I didn't want to give him the wrong idea. Right now he was in the acquaintance zone. He hasn't quite made it to the friend zone yet. He's getting close but he isn't quite there yet. When I told him when and where to meet me he instantly replied: 

"That sounds great. See you then."

That night Ayano leave a bit earlier than needed because it would be easier to get her out of dodge but still be able to keep an eye on us. She would just more or less be lurking in the background so she would be there if I needed her for any reason at all. I didn't really dress up either because it wasn't a date but I did have my favorite jeans on with my favorite Breaking Benjamin long sleeved shirt and my black jacket.

When we get there Xander is already there so Ayano has to hurry up and leave my side even though suddenly I don't want her to leave my side because I'm anxious about this. I have no idea why because it's not like there's been anything between us. I hear my phone go off. When I checked it I saw it was Xander saying that he sees me and to stay where I am because he's on his way over. My mind goes crazy right then because we're both early. I feel like I can't breathe because I start having an anxiety attack. I still don't see him but I feel him. Finally I see him and take a deep breath. I looked him up and down like I did before. This time he is in a Breaking Benjamin shirt as well and black jeans.

He looks even better when there is light and less creepy. He is stunning and it makes me more insecure because I'm sure that this is going to be a joke for him. It's going to be let's see if we can make the insecure black haired teen fall for me even though I don't like her back. That pull is still there though and it's confusing because I don' t know what it means. This is a first for me because I have never really let anyone close to me at all because of how often I moved myself. 

When I leave I don't look back because it's too much to try to explain to someone why you had to leave them. Then they hate you and don't talk to you anyways and that ends up just hurting you instead. This though this feels different it feels like I'm being drawn to him.  He waves his hand in front of me because I zoned out for a minute because I got lost in my thoughts.

He was really sweet again when he said hi the conversation started out really awkward because of my anxiety attack. I feel really bad because I made it awkward but he doesn't seem to notice it so I'm okay for now. Until later tonight when I mess up and tell him about something he shouldn't know about.

We talk for awhile and slowly my anxiety decreases. Actually within about 30 minutes of hanging out my anxiety is back to normal. I think I hear someone calling my name and my head snaps in that direction and Xander asks if I'm okay. I tell him yeah I just thought that someone was calling for me. Someone who sounded just like my mom. He still doesn't know that my parents are dead. In fact nobody does. I haven't told anyone because I haven't felt like talking about it and it's been 11 years.