The house I lived in for the past 10 years... I always thought it was a magical place. A place of supreme happiness, a place of felicity... a place of love. But that mindset changed when I started seeing the world with my own eyes, and not the flowery glasses that had been place infront of my vision since I was born.
I realised that my mom and dad were always late from work, often under suspicious circumstances. They'd always explain that it was because work was bogging them down. That it was all for my sake. Unknown to them, I'd begun to notice that their clothes were ruffled and messy, unlike how they went out. First I reassured myself saying it was because clothes get messed up as the day goes on. But then I saw lipstick stains on my dad's tego, smelled different cologne on my mom's wonju... slowly, slowly, my world came crashing down.
Unlike all those typical stories, I did not have any neighbours that were close to me. My friends were caught up in their own happy lives, talking about boys, dresses, romance... to ever worry about the things that were actually happening. I had no one. None, except myself.
As I feared, mom and dad found out about the other's affair and got into a serious fight. The divorce was settled and they fought for me. I was confused. Why were they fighting over me? They said all those late nights were all for my benefit. If they cheated on each other for my sake, doesn't it mean I'm an unwanted child? That I'm not needed, that I'm not important? So I told them that I would only live with one of them on the condition that when I turned 16 I'd live on my own. They got really angry and started scolding me but I stood my ground.
Soon, they agreed and my mom got custody over me. And so, I was alone for the next 6 years, even though my step-dad had a son. The son never really spent much time at the place we lived, but on the occasions he visited, he brought sweets for me. It was because he pitied me. And because, deep down, he hated me. Hated my mom, because of her he lost his family. His sister moved in with her mother, it seems. He used to smile, so painfully. I understood him, but then again, I never really understood anything.
I remember the first time we met, him and I. Mom and I had just moved in with her new husband. The house was comfortable; not too big, not too small. My stepfather hugged my mom and for the first time in a very long while, I saw my mother truly smile. He came over to me and kneeled down.
"I'm going to try my best to be a dad to you. I love your mom, and I'll do my best to make you and your mother happy."
He seemed sincere, so I put on my best smile and thanked him. I hugged him for effect, and my mom was moved to tears. Don't cry, Gaiden, don't cry. I was sad and angry and confused. But I was determined not to let it show. I had to mature in order to survive.
We settled down after unpacking, near the television. Mom and "dad" were busy talking so I had the freedom to choose whatever channel I liked. Pity, I never really liked watching television. The door bell rang, indicating the arrival of my new brother.
"I'll go get it!" I got up and ran. Seeing my mother being close to another man was discomforting. As I opened the door, I saw a rather tall man waiting on the other side. He looked down at me and in that instant, I knew what he felt. He pitied me. He hated me. Yet, even though I subconsciously hated him, I noticed the puffy eyelids and tired eyes. I smiled as sweetly as I could and welcomed him.
"Hello acho! My name is Gaiden Druktsho. I hope we can get along."
He looked at me uneasily, but slowly ruffled my hair. "Hey Gai, I'm Ugyen. Is my dad here?"
I nodded and told him his dad was in the TV room. He entered without another word and moved to find his dad. I locked the door. Please Gaiden, please don't cry.
Well, that's all in the past now. I'm 16 and I'm finally moving out of that suffocating place. I'll be living alone for the rest of my life! Maybe, I'll get a cat...
