Star Crossed No More (Sequel to Star Crossed Lovers) (girlxgirl)

Chapter 12

“I love her, Alex!” Billy screamed.

 There were not a lot of people in the coffee shop those early hours of the morning, but the few who were looked up at her words. Seconds later, they got back to their usual routine as Billy turned back to Alex and found her walking out. She rushed to catch up but Alex did not seem to have any intention of stopping.

 “Alex, please.”

 Alex stopped.

 Billy’s heart was racing. She’d gone in for her morning cup of coffee, hoping to run into her friends after the fun weekend, but had run into Alex. On seeing her, she’d hoped to talk to her, but until that moment, Alex had not paid any moment of attention to her. Now she hoped Alex stopping was a good sign. But how could it be? When she’d just admitted to being in love with the same woman her best friend loved?

 “Do you not understand it when I say that I do not want anything to do with you?” Alex asked.

 She showed no sign of emotion. She was as cold to Billy as she had been to disgruntled old exes. Exes Billy had pitied because once someone got on that side of Alex, one could never get on her good side. Now that Billy was, Alex’s emotionless attitude towards her hurt her more than she cared to admit.

 “I know you, Alex. You cannot turn off a lifetime of love and friendship.”

 “Obviously you don’t know me well enough,” Alex said.

 “Fine, you can hate me. You can act as though none of what is happening with Jesse affects you, or us. But I need you to understand that I haven’t given up on our friendship. I never will until you forgive me. I love you, Alex. You’re my family and family doesn’t give up on one another,” Billy said.

 She thought she saw some sort of emotion cross Alex’s face and thought she still had hope.

 “Did you love her back then?” Alex asked.

Billy was surprised she’d responded instead of walking off, but she needed a chance to have some sort of dialogue. “Yes, I did,” she said.

 “Did you love me?”

 The question was confusing, but Billy confidently responded. “Of course I did.”

 “Do you think I loved you?”

 Her questions got more confusing, but according to their history, Billy was confident Alex loved her. “Yes,” she said.

 “Do you think I would have chosen a girl who almost broke our friendship, or basically any other girl over you?”

 Billy shook her head in shame and remorse. “No,” she said.

 “She left, we made a choice. We chose each other. Regardless of the fact that we were both losing someone we loved. But we made that choice together. When she walked out of our lives, we restored our friendship and rebuilt a stronger solid foundation.”

 Billy could see where Alex was going.

 “I saw her, but I didn’t go after her because I knew what it would do to us. I chose our friendship over her. I chose to focus on us, and ignored my hurt and your betrayal because I needed to forgive you, because I loved you and I could not be myself without you. But you, what did you do?”

 Billy inhaled, in pain, in self-serving guilt, in emotions she could not name and for the first time, she understood Alex’s pain.

 “I loved her, Billy. Jesse was the girl of my dreams. But you spoilt her for me. You destroyed my dream and I still chose you over it. And now, I am the disgusting chaotic mess between that wet, sticky, smelly rot. That’s who I am right now. So you want to know where you stand with me. First, make the effort to know how I got where I am.”