Young and Beautiful

"My name is Estelle. I'm fiftee- er....sixteen now but like that makes a difference. I've been a foster child my entire life, switched from family to family. I don't mind..I guess. This family, the Huskins, are easily my least favourite. Being crammed in a small apartment in central Indiana with 3 hell-born, devil-children for siblings, an alcoholic mother, and a non-existent father was definitely not on my list of "things-I-want-to-accomplish-in-life".  Even my foster father left me, which actually kind of made me happy considering he was an abusive asshole. Honestly, the only person I would feel bad about leaving in this "family" is my older brother Kris. Kris is the one person in this house that is actually not soul-sacrificing besides myself. No..no...they don't really sacrifice souls to the Dark Lord...but it wouldn't surprise me if they did. Anyway...here I am, typing away at the keys of my crummy laptop, blabbing out my feelings and life to the internet. This blog is the only thing keeping me from loosing my mind...and harming my body. It was Kris's idea, he said I could vent  a lot this way. It's been 4 months since my last relapse with self-harming. Most of my scars from previous times have faded enough to not be noticeable...but that last time...it was so...so different. I was so angry, so upset, I lashed out with all I could. I would be dead if Kris hadn't had found me in a pool of my own blood on the bathroom floor. Thighs, wrists, hips...any skin that I could hide easily, I basically destroyed. I always wear  bracelets, even before I started to self-harm. And unless I'm going to be walking around in shorts that could qualify as underwear (typical teenage slut-bag shorts), or nothing at all, my thighs and my hips will never been seen. When I'm changing clothes however...the scars scream at me, begging for attention. Trust me...they're very noticeable...and they could get all the attention they want. But they won't. They'll never be seen by anyone but myself. That's a promise to me..not necessarily  for my sake, but for the sake of others. It's hard to explain, so I simply won't try to. You'll get to know a lot about me here, learn about who I am, and heck, maybe I'll even learn something about myself. Well, there is my little introduction. Sit back, enjoy the ride, and welcome to world of Estelle. 

I stare at the blinking cursor for a couple of seconds before pressing the sky blue "save & publish" button at the top of the page. 

((Sorry it's so short! I'd love feedback! Lemme know what you think! Thanks! Xx- Payton))