I'm sorry everyone for posting talk after talk.. I've lost my spark of drawing, maybe it's an artist block? Not sure.. But I've got a lot on my plate right now, haha, that's a joke. I haven't been eating much lately.
Have you ever found someone who you knew was right for you, but you weren't sure if they felt the same? Even when you're dating that very person, you know you love them, but you aren't sure how they feel about it. It keeps you up at night, it hurts you. It does all the bad things. (For loss of a better term :P)
Now, scars and cuts on your wrist, not enough fat on your body, and no will at all, you resort to suicide.
Now, I don't want to be one of those who say they want to kill themself just for attention. Hell, one of my "friends" even said I was cutting for attention, but I don't go around showing people my wrist! I keep it hidden, I don't tell people about it... But I digress, I did.. Try to choke myself with a scarf, on the night of my birthday no less, all because I love someone.
So I guess uhh... Find someone you know loves you before you rush in. And make sure YOU love them too... (*cough cough* CubedCoconuts )
I'm not pointing fingers at anyone in particular, but the last few weeks it feels like all my friends (and gf.) Are against me, it makes it really hard not to want to just leave it all behind.
I sold my soul to keep this relationship going and you're still bullying me about it! Wtf man... Why can't you... Why don't... I.. I don't understand.. I can't figure out how to tell people about my feelings without feeling like people will take me as someone who just wants attention, I really don't, I hate when people are all swarmed around me, I don't like hugs or contact for a reason...
There's been times when I feel like I can't breathe, I feel like my heart is going to beat right out of my undeveloped chest.
Oh, and another thing! My "friend" doesn't think I actually have depression! Maybe it isn't confirmed, but I don't eat, I cut (or used to I guess.) I only smile so people don't worry, I'm a FRIKIN mess and you choose to make it worse by doing what you do!..
I'm a human too... Please treat me like one...
And before I discontinue my shit-show, I have to say I'm sorry to a friend of mine (Skippuchan ) She really is a good friend and jealousy was getting the better of me, I'm sorry, please, can we still be friends?
But anyway, that includes my little rant, I'm sorry, I'll update with art real soon. Thanks.
