The Marauders: Year Five #Wattys2017

Happy Mew-mories

He nodded again.

"Lily Evans said good job James?"

"I think she said Potter actually, but yes."

"Clearly somebody confunded her."

James sniffled. Normally that would've made him laugh. It was a mark of how thoroughly exhausted and depressed he was that he didn't even chuckle. He stared at his hands.

Sirius nudged him, "You used to think I was funny."

James didn't react.

This was clearly very serious, Sirius realized, and he frowned. "So you told her 'cos she said good job?" he prodded.

James sighed. "I told her because I thought she was in a pro-Potter sort of mood and maybe she'd be more... I dunno... more understanding because of it. But she didn't understand. She got really angry and she ran into the woods to get away from me and I went after her... that's how we ended up by the lake there, and..." He suddenly realized she'd run off again and was probably lost somewhere in the dark, probably terrified from the wolf and Merlin knew what else she could run into in the woods! Just because he knew where the werewolf was -- there were other horrors that lived in the Forbidden Forest (not the least of which was that great spider, Aragog, not to mention the Centaurs). He had to go after her - to save her. "Shizer. Sirius, I gotta go back!" He started to get up but Sirius grabbed him and yanked him back down.

"Peter's with her. He was in her pocket."

"You're sure?"

"I'm positive." Sirius patted James's knee. "She'll be okay. He'll get her back. I'm sure they're on the grounds to the school already."

James heaved a sigh and covered his face. He felt a wave of guilt for bringing her anywhere near the woods - there were plenty of places in the castle he could've brought her to show her the stag. Plenty of reasons why not to go to the dark woods... But he'd wanted it to be all poetic and beautiful, wanted her to find out there, in that clearing, in their special spot, where she'd fed the stag feed and he'd nuzzled her... He'd wanted her to find out some place she was familiar with and felt safe in. Now she'd never feel safe there again, he realized, and that made him feel even more guilty. And he felt guilty, too, because he hadn't even thought of poor Peter - it hadn't even crossed his mind to wonder where he was at all, not even once in all of what had gone on. James leaned into his own knees, feeling like absolute and utter rubbish. "I'm a right git," he whispered.

Sirius ran his hand over James's back and they sat in silence for a long moment. Silence so thick that James could hear the far-off voices coming up over the ridge from Hogsmeade, where a bar door opening had let loud music escape for a moment before fading off into silence again.

The silence seemed oddly out of place, even for a dark night.

And then James realized why.

"Sirius," James murmured.

"What?" Sirius asked.

"The wolf's not banging on the door anymore."

"Shit." Sirius got up and he sighed, "Can you let me in? Paws don't open doors well."

James nodded, and he watched as Sirius transformed back into Snuffles, then he leaned over, twisting the knob, let the dog in, and pulled the door shut tight right behind Sirius as his tail disappeared through the doorway. Alone once more, James hugged his knees... the cold burning his nose and his toes, and eventually he just rolled to one side and fell asleep on the porch of the Shrieking Shack.