if description of self-harm or depression is a trigger please stop reading now.
inspired by the forest fic
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It's as if she felt trapped in her own mind. She wanted to escape it. All of it. Everytime she looked back the shadow was there so her first thought was to run to the light to be saved but it seemed as if everytime that she reached the light it turned off. She didn't want to feel it anymore. She didn't want any of this. She thought that it would all be gone the moment she placed her hand on her chest and said "No more."
Yes because she thought that saying the words "no more" would cure her but it didn't because she was foolish. As foolish as ever but she didn't know that until all of the lights went off. She should've just stayed in place. She shouldn't of tried to go somewhere she didn't belong. It wasn't hers. Stop. Stay in place please.
Because the marks of her skin in her mind made her think that it defined her in every way possible when it didn't, right? Please just stay in place and don't get the gas and lighter to make it bigger than it already is because it can't. Just go in your treehouse and talk to your own reflection because appearantly it is the only person that you can talk to without judging you. Because your own reflection was its own person telling you the undoable actions that you should do next.
Yes it hurt, why wouldn't it? Unless you're talking about the actions then no, that was just pure pleasure because if it did bother her then why would she want to do it. But if your talking about the shadows, if you're asking her if the shadows hurt yes they did. They hurt so much but everybody just grew up knowing to not ask about it, and when you did you just said, "I hope you find a light that wont turn off once you get to it" and you'd hope that everything gets better. Because that's what's supposed to happen, right? Because staying in place is what you're supposed to do. Stay in place.
I should've of listened to my shadows. No. She should have listened to the shadows. Because she is so disapointed in herself that she has to refer to herself as third person. Or second person. It doesn't matter what it was because appearantly the choice of words that you chose doesn't change anything about the shadows. They tried to tell her where the light was. Even though one of them was the shadow. Or two of them. "please find the light. find it for me" because it made them feel so happy that she was trying to find the light. Yes it's crazy that the shadow itself was telling her to find the light it's so crazy for everyone to believe that right?
Stay in place. Because if you don't stay in place you'll end up going somewhere you don't belong, and you'll end up not wanting to be there. So please. Stay in place. Don't move.
She is telling herself that all of the time but obviously her reflection tells her otherwise, or she just doesn't understand. She can't understand herself. She can't understand them. She can't understand the shadows. She can only understand her reflection because it always told her what to do. She hated the undoable actions because they hated it. If she had the choice to choose if she loved it or not she would love them. She wanted to change, at least she thought, but even if the shadows went away, and she truly found a light that wouldn't turn off once she got to it, would she still do the undoable actions? Would she? Answer me! Because she only needed an answer. An answer to her prayers because being trapped in your own mind isn't the prettiest of things that they want to see. So they said it again. "I hope you find a light that won't turn off once you get to it. I love you, not your reflection, I love you" they repeated over and over but it didn't seem to help because she couldn't hear them since her reflection was louder than all of their voices.
But that's what happens when you don't stay in place. Your reflection talks to you and the lights begin to turn off once you get to it and it might just be her own imagination but it seems that all of the shadows seem to be getting bigger, so then the undoable actions become more frequent but she guessed that her reflection didn't mind. So please stay in place because if you don't this all happens. Stay in place.
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