Judge

Chapter 11

I slip in the window at home and go to bed before anyone can catch me. I lie awake for a while, thinking about the fate of Maddie. I wonder if she's even alive. I say a prayer for her. We're going to need all the help we can get. I drift off into a restless sleep.

A nightmare greets me as I close my eyes. I am shackled in a dark room, and I am in indescribable agony. Maddie's broken body lays on the ground in front of me. I break my chains and roar at God for taking her from me. I turn to the black iron of my shackles and blow open the wall with the true uncontained rage and agony I feel. I see daylight. As I pick her up, the green forest turns black and withers. I fly away with a sonic boom over more ruined groves until a yellow rope of energy attaches to my waist and drags me down, and I'm shooting towards the ground, screaming with rage and crying at the same time.

I wake up just as I hit the ground again. It's about 10:30 in the morning. Peter and Paul have already put my hand in a bowl of warm water. I groan and rub my stiff neck as I clamber out of my bed. There's an email on my phone that explains the interview and the shift. I forward it to my parents. After my morning routine, I head downstairs. This is the moment. I take a deep, tentative breath. Mom is cooking sausages in the kitchen.

"Hey Mom, I got an email that said I have an interview at 5 today for a night shift at the Pentagon. If I'm lucky, I'll start tonight."

"Oh my god! I'm so happy for you! What are you going to wear?" I haven't thought about that.

"Um, I-"

"How about your suit? I think you hung it up, right?" She shoots me a look that speaks volumes as to exactly what would happen if I hadn't hung my suit up in my closet correctly.

"Ye-"

"Perfect! Now go upstairs and wash your face. You can take a shower at four. Go! Oh, your father will be so proud!"

Relieved, I turn slowly back around and trudge upstairs to do as she says. There's no arguing with the force of nature I call my mother. The good thing is that she accepted the story. I should be grateful. I'm going to get Maddie back. But all I can think of is the brutal act I have to commit. I have to put someone down. Can I really perform that unspeakable thing? I try to reassure my shaky faith in myself as I wash my face. You have to do this. She'll be safe. Can you really stand by when she dies? I don't know. But my feelings will have to wait. I try to deaden myself. The minutes stretch into hours as I wait. It's four o'clock. I shower. Hot guilt, anger, and water run down my back. I wash my face and try to let my emotions go. I can't afford them. Not tonight. My mother rushes me out, fawning over me. How little she knows.

Would you still congratulate me as I murder?

I start. I realize that I will be guilty. I could be put to death as easily as the one I seek. I just pray that God won't take this out on me. I put on the meaningless swaths of cloth posing as a suit, and drive down to DC amid much screaming. The only thing that matters is the target now.

Only thing that matters.

I nearly drift into another car, but luckily the horn saves me. I don't want to go the same way as my uncle. With that sobering thought, I return to the grim task at hand. I pull up in the evening sunlight, and walk the same staircase as I flew past last night. Miraculously, they've already fixed the doors. I wonder how. Anything to distract me. I walk down a busy hallway and follow a handy little map I found to the Secretary's office. I arrive at an empty room. At first I sit, but I realize that I could find Maddie without having to kill the man if I just went through this desk. I begin to shuffle through papers.

Secretary Dillman walks in.