To the man who hurt me.

7 months. I was submissive to you, your words grabbed me and put me under your own tent of grievances
you were always beligerant, any think would make you mad. I always wondered what I did wrong, not what you were doing wrong. I made excuses for you, it was a bad night, he didn't mean it. I got angry when my friends told me to leave you, I felt they were acting they knew more about our relationship than we did. Every word flew at me and I had to swallow them, they tasted like poison. I was young. 13. I wasn't wired but you took your words and programmed me into your perfect robot to make excuses for you so you'd be the perfect man. you were so far away, but you hurt me physically, too. every night sobbing alone, or even the one day where I was scared to open your messages. you told me you didn't like me, then screamed you loved me when I said you didn't. you said I loved you when no one else did. I thought I was helping. oh god, and even when you're gone I still think what I could've done better to please you. but you're impossible to please. I was tired of panic attacks because of you and you were tired of me having them. Well, Im sorry.