Eros

Chapter 2

   I lie in my bed, staring at the far wall. My walls now seem to be so barren without all of the posters that had been adorned across their surface. They almost appear to be lonely and lifeless without all of the posters of Victor and his graceful skating greeting my eyes every night and morning. I cover my eyes with the blanket attempting to silence the strange thoughts that are beginning to form in my mind. No matter how I look at the situation, Victor is a shining god of his craft and I am simply his undeserving student. It doesn't matter how many competitions I win or how many medals I am awarded, I will never live up to his illustrious reputation.

   Victor will always go down in applause while I will simply go down in silence. My eyes scrunch shut tightly as I try to silence the horrible thoughts going through my mind. I won the last completion because of Victor's help but it was also my own abilities that played into it. I need to be strong like Victor. Nothing ever seems to faze him or make him lose that bright and cheerful smile or that glow in his eyes. I throw the blanket off of me and start heading downstairs to the living room. The stairs creak slightly beneath my feet but I can't bring myself to really care as I blindly wander into the kitchen to make some breakfast.

   "Good morning Yuri." The cheerful voice of my coach meets my ears and I slowly turn to see him sitting at the kitchen counter. His skates are sitting in the chair beside him while he smiles at me, his fingers drumming against the countertop insistently, the only sign that he is annoyed. I twinge when I realize that I was supposed to meet him at the rink several hours ago. I glance at the clock and see that I am over four hours late. I glance back at Victor who hasn't stopped smiling. " I hope that you slept well."

   "I-I did." I stammer as I hold a container of milk sheepishly between my hands.

   "Delightful." Victor says cheerfully, his fingers continuing to drum against the countertop quickly, sending anxious chills to race down my spine. I wonder just how angry with me he really is.

   "I am sorry for missing our-" My voice cuts off as the drumming stops suddenly. Victor's bright blue eyes stare at me intently. "Our training session at the rink." I whisper. Victor says nothing as he stares at me for a moment before dropping his gaze and sighing. He glances over at his skates for a moment before returning his eyes to me.

   "How badly do you want to win Yuri?" I blink in confusion at his words. "Is it still your intention to win the Grand Prix Final or are you simply content with where you are now?"

   "I still want to win." I respond softly. Victor's gaze on me is getting to be a bit unsettling to be perfectly honest. He seems to be trying to find the part of my brain that makes me who I am, and see how he can play with it. "That desire has never faltered."

   "Then I suggest that you get your skates." He says seriously as he stands up and grabs his skates. " I will be at the rink, and if you truly mean what you say then you will meet me there before too long." I stare at him in shock as he walks out of the room. Does he think that I simply don't care about skating anymore? A tinge of fear races through my system as I run through the house and grab my belongings, holding a piece of toast tightly between my teeth. I zip up my jacket and grab my skates and run out the door.

   I don't want Victor to think that I am wasting his time or that I do not appreciate his time. For some reason the thought of him being disappointed in me is absolutely unbearable. I run as fast as my legs will carry me and eventually I catch up with Victor. His eyes go wide in surprise as I race past him, he tries to grab onto me but I am just out of reach as I continue to run.

   "Yuri!" He calls after me. "Yuri." He runs to catch up with me and is eventually running alongside me. I can feel his eyes on me as I continue to run, tears brimming up in my eyes. "Why are you running so fast?" He asks in between pants. "Are we racing?" I say nothing and try to put on one more small boost of speed to get to the rink before he does. Victor is able to keep up with me as we reach the skating rink. He stops outside to catch his breath but I continue inside, brushing past everyone to get into the rink.

   The ice skating rink is empty and I sink down onto one of the benches with a thundering heart and struggle to even out my breathing. My fingers are fumbling with the laces clumsily due to my trembling hands. The knotted threads slipping out of my hands.

   "Yuri." I glance up, panting, to see the composed face of my coach. I don't know how he recovers so fast, but I hope that I will be able to learn that specific skill somewhere down the line. "It's good to see that you are eager to practice, but that may have just been a bit too enthusiastic." He chuckles a bit.

   "I...I didn't..." I struggle to form the words through the heavy panting escaping my mouth. It has been quite some time since I have last ran that hard, my body doesn't know how to manage.

   "Don't waste your energy." Victor smiles as he walks over and kneels down beside me. My eyes go wide as he grabs onto the laces and begins to tie up the skates. "There is much that we have to work on today, so regain your breath and we will begin." My face heats up as he smiles up at me, my heart beginning to pound again. That strange sensation in my stomach appears again with such an intensity that it is staggering. I say nothing as he stands and ruffles my hair before sitting down beside me and lacing up his skates. I stare down at my laced skates and can't help the small smile that dawns my lips, whatever this sensation is doesn't matter, I just hope that I can keep Victor around me for as long as possible.