Christmas Wishes

Part One

"When all you wanted was to be wanted." Listening to Taylor Swift's Fifteen reminded me of how, on this lonely Christmas Eve, all I truly wanted was to be loved or cared about.

I was an outcast. Nobody cared about me. All I wanted for Christmas was a kind soul to care about me. My mother was constantly anxious mainly because my father was a drunk. Neither of them had the time to love anymore.

My friends, I didn't have any. I was a junior in high school with no friends, I'm that lonely soul who sits in the corner. Everybody forgets about me. I'm bullied by silence.

School days passed where no kid, no teacher, no person would peep a word at me. No, "Good morning!" No, "Hey." Not even, "Yo, move over." I'm not offended if a kid makes a offensive comment at me, I'm offended that they didn't say it to my face.

I looked outside, it was snowing. It was a white Christmas I didn't care about. I remember years ago when it snowed, I would go outside and run around laughing. I was happy, but not now. Years passed, I was forgotten. An old pair of shoes, lost and thrown out.

There once was a time in my life when I wasn't like this. It seemed like I lived in a perfect world  when that person was around. He knew all my secrets, but most importantly held my life together, literally.

"I need help. I'm going insane. I'm telling the truth. I've cut myself. I'm on the verge of-------"

"Calm down. Calm down. I'm coming over. Put down that weapon and don't lie to me and say you don't have one in your hand. Step away from the window. Don't cry, it's going to be okay. Just calm down, I'm coming over."

"No, I need help now, don't hang up."

"Stop crying, it's okay. I'm rushing over now. Stop, you're strong. You don't need to take this route. The pain is bearable. The pain will stop, but doing this is not right."

"Help me, I told myself I wouldn't come to this, but I just, I just...."

He burst into my room, I was drowning in tears. He came over and hugged me. He held me in his arms as I cried. "I'm so sorry I broke the promise."

"You're okay. Just cry it out. I'll solve this with you."

"Thanks."

"I'm always here." He let go of me and sat in a chair in my room.

"You really care don't you?"

"Always will, so keep your head up, sunshine."

"Okay, and I promise this time, I won't. I won't ever think about it."

He hugged me once more and left.

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"So I heard you were at the party. You know your mother doesn't want you there with that crowd." He always seemed to know my life inside and out.

"Yeah, but why not? She's always anxious, not like she cares. Dad's always drinking anyway."

"But we're underage. You really should have thought that through."

"What you going to tell? You wouldn't!"

"If it's best for you, I will. So stop, and I won't tell."

"Fine. To be honest, it was only that time."

"It better be the ONLY time until we're older. Promise?"

"Promise."

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"Hey, I really need to talk to you." he said.

"Why?"

"Ummmm, I'm moving away."

"Wait, where? What? How soon? You can't leave me here!"

"I know, not for awhile but soon, out of state, far away from here."

"You can't leave me here! I'll rot and die and nobody will care!"

"That won't happen," he stared straight into my eyes. "I'll always be watching over you, sunshine."

"But....I'm not going to last."

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"I guess this is goodbye. Stay strong, okay?"

"I'll try. Will you be okay?"

"Yes, you're the one I'm worried about. I'll come back, someday. Promise to stay strong until then."

"Promise." With that his car drove away slowly and he didn't look back; he was fighting tears and so was I.

He never came back, we called and texted for a month, but nothing lasted. He was living a new life, free of a burden, me. He knew he was my crutch. He knew I wouldn't survive. But he had hope that I would. And that little spark of hope, kept me alive.

I walked outside, and wandered aimlessly around. There was nothing left of me. Then it hit me, the was a car parked in the street. The car looked too familiar. The license plate was the same. It was him. It was him! He came back! After two whole years of me dying inside, he remembered and came back!

I looked around, but he wasn't anywhere to be found. I jogged around the street. Where was he? Then I turned around. He stood in front of me with arms open. I fell into his arms and gave him the biggest hug ever. "You didn't forget."

"I promised didn't I?"

"I missed you so much. I'm sorry I always break the promises, but I didn't stay strong."

"I know you didn't. But it's okay we're going to fix this together."

"How you live over 200 miles away! Are you staying?"

He looked into my eyes and said, "Yes, I'm staying in this town forever with you, Abigail."

In that moment of time, both of my Christmas wishes had come true.