I always knew i was a different kind of person. Not that i was insane and needed to be in a hospital for suicide watch or another sort of attention seeking disease girls play today because their insecure and can't handle the fact that just because they don't have perfectly sculpted noses and bleach blonde hair that fell down to their bet loops that their not beautiful. Now that is a whole different chapter that runs through my mind every day. That's the thing about me my mind constantly is thinking. it just never stops. I have never been school smart, barely passing with un pleasing c plusses and under achieving appreciation, but i have always found my self thinking thoughts that most people don't. I really have no describable talent, never have been good at sports, never have excelled in school, never have been the most beautiful girl in the room but i knew i wasn't ugly. I was just different. My basic blue eyes and blonde hair have always had a different look to them. My pointy nose and un proportionate lips have never been the ones boys stay up late talking about how they would kiss. I've never really known who i was. I could always fall into the average american beauty queen category, make my way through school with the easy access key given to every boy who told me they loved me just so they could get in my pants, graduate and find a suitable man who one day after our 3 kids our half way through grade school stops loving me. Or i could always make my way through school with a stone cold personality with 1 main goal: college. Graduate then work 95 hour weeks and never be able to make a family and live the american dream. I always wanted to be famous. famous people always had a nitch for living extraordinary lives, but then half of them end up killing themselves 2 quarters into their lives. So that's the big question i guess, are we ever happy? is it possible for our lives to be just one big bundle of joy? or is it the little things, like the way the sunshine makes your eyes glisten or how the winter season always has that warm for filling feeling to it, but even most importantly the way the people around you make you feel, the people that make you so extremely lucky to have in your life. And i'm not just talking about the douche high school jock you let get into your pants just so you can hear him say a fake sugar coated i love you or the girl who was once your bestfriend but puts herself before you. No. I'm talking about the real genuine people in your life. The people who bring you stomach hurting happy crying joy. Find those people and keep them close to you because in a life like this there's very little of that in this world. l
